1. I twirl my hair.
“Twirls hair counter clockwise (gets pissed when guy doesn’t take the ‘hint’)”
2. I laugh at everything you say.
“Everything you say is funny. I’m prepped to laugh before you’ve even finished the sentence. You are the king of comedians. Nah but seriously—stronger eye contact, smiling, hair touching (my hair, not theirs. That’d be weird.)”
3. I touch you and insult you a lot.
“I’ll generally come up with excuses to touch you and probably insult you a lot.”
4. I ‘magically’ get to the bus stop the same time as you.
“My boyfriend and I, before we got together, kept magically getting to the bus stop at the same time. Our timetables coincided nicely, but I did occasionally have to miss the very first bus that turned up in order to make it happen.”