32 Office Christmas Parties That Got Totally Out Of Hand

Flickr / Sue Richards
Flickr / Sue Richards
Found on AskReddit.

1. My boss showed the entire staff that he has five nipples.

“My boss showed the entire staff that he has 5 nipples at the company Christmas party one year. He even let one girl touch the 5th one.”


2. All thirty of us ended up on top of a mountain at sunrise, naked and drunk.

“All thirty of us ended up on top of a mountain at sunrise, naked and drunk. We then went for breakfast and back to work.”


3. One worker choked a coworker unconscious while demonstrating ‘martial arts’ moves.

“One coworker mentioned he does martial arts. Second coworker tells him to show him a move, gets choked unconscious. Cue manager freaking the fuck out when he finds an employee not moving on the floor. He woke up eventually.”


4. Drunk file clerk put the CEO in a headlock.

“Super drunk file clerk puts arm around our CEO ‘Charles,’ who this drunk person starts calling ‘Chucky.’ Drunk guy pretends to put him in headlock… everyone shocked. Drunk guy doesn’t remember any of it the next day, and is horrified to hear what he did.

TL;DR: Drunk file clerk puts CEO in headlock.”


5. A coworker (male) fucked a stripper with a strap-on, all sanctioned by the boss.

“A coworker (male) fucking a stripper with a strap-on all sanctioned by the boss. It was fucking awesome.”


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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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