1. When she owns more than three cats.
“More than 3 cats.”
2. When she loooooves horses.
“Loooooves horses. I’ve never met a horse girl that isn’t crazy.”
3. When she owns Lena Dunham books.
“The writings of Lena Dunham.”
4. When she has ZERO girl friends, she’s a cunt.
“One surefire example is to find out how many close girl friends she has. If she has ZERO girl friends, she’s a cunt.”
5. When she describes most of her exes as dicks.
“Not true for all cases, but if a girl describes most of her exes as dicks, she may be part of the problem.”
6. When she has those eyes.
“Those eyes. You know the ones. The ones you can just look at and know, ‘it’ll be a lot of fun, but i’ll wake up naked, in jail, and in debt.’”