15. He hugged me tighter and started moaning and humping me.
“I met a guy at a coffee shop for a first date. It was awkward and I was not interested in him at all. I went to the bathroom and texted friends to ask if it would be terrible to sneak out the back and leave. They told me to go back, be polite and end it; how bad could it get? I went back to tell him I had to go and he stands to hug me goodbye. I didn’t want to but he wrapped his arms around me and bear hugged me—hard. When he wouldn’t loosen his grip, I yelled for him to let me go and he hugged me tighter and started moaning and humping me. I finally wiggled free and took off running for my car. And, of course, a few days later he texted back asking for a second date. No thank you, creepy coffee-shop humper!”
16. I kept staring at his one giant eyelash.
“There wasn’t really anything wrong with the date, apart from the fact that the guy had one really long eyelash. No kidding—it was well over an inch long, and because it was a bright day, it kept glistening in the sun. I couldn’t take my eyes off it the whole time.”
17. Halfway through the meal he pulled out a creased photo just of his ex and began to tell me how much he missed her!
“The date was going well…until halfway through the meal he pulled out a creased photo just of his ex and began to tell me how much he missed her!”
18. He puked all over me and then said that I am really caring like his mother.
“We went into a bar and everything seemed all right until he got really nervous and started ordering different kind of drinks and got drunk. I had to call a cab and get him home but as we got out he puked all over me and then said that I am really caring like his mother. That was definitely the cherry on the cake…”