12. Right before we were about to have sex, he went into diabetic shock.
“Right before we were about to have sex, he went into diabetic shock. We spent the night in the ER. I’m obviously relieved he was OK, but what a date.”
13. I got a call from a cop asking me to pick the guy up because his license was expired.
“He texted me that he’d be late. Then he said he had to change a tire. Then he got pulled over for a taillight that was out. Then I got a call from a cop asking me to pick the guy up because his license was expired. Ugh.”
14. We went on a triple date…with his charmingly Botoxed mother.
“I was 16 and my boyfriend and I had gone on a triple date…with his charmingly Botoxed mother. He held both of our hands through much of the date. When it came time for all the couples to slow-dance, I sat alone with my thoughts while he danced with his mother. To make up for this Oedipus-like date we were going to go to dinner and a movie, just us. He picked me up and immediately got a phone call from his drug dealer friend who wanted him to join in smoking. They were also smoking cigarettes the whole time, which I’m allergic to. Being the considerate boyfriend he was, he didn’t want me to be sick and instructed me to sit in the car. I waited there for over an hour while they hung out, and by the time they were done we had missed the movie.”