22. I fainted after a boy puked and shitted in front of me
I used to work for Disney. I was a PhotoPass cast member, which meant I got to randomly patrol the park and snap pics of people next to iconic disney marks. I got to take people’s photos, give them a card, and then they could buy them after their vacation. It was an awesome job, people loved me, and I got to use the corniest lines to make people smile.
So one day I was wandering through the park, and I notice this kid. He wasn’t that old, maybe six or so, and he didn’t appear to be with any of his parents. Thinking he was lost, I walked towards him, when I realized he didn’t look that good. He had his hand on his stomach and was kind of hunched over and moaning. Now, an upset stomach isn’t that uncommon at disney (especially when you know what goes on in their kitchens – but that’s another story), so I could kind of sense what was about to happen. I called out for him to wait, but it was too late.
The kid proceeded to try to tug his pants down, when all of a sudden he starts violently shitting. I mean like furious, possessed, massive fire-hose style liquid shit. And he didn’t stay still, either. He started flopping around, doing this weird bucking style dance, trying to avoid the colossal amount of shit spraying every which way out of his pants, and his ass. I watched in shock. He looked like a motherfucking sprinkler system. And he just kept shitting, unrelenting. Did I mention this was right in front of Splash Mountain, as well? The kid was putting on a fucking show for every boat that came sliding down the mountain, as the shit kept sliding out of his ass.
Eventually the kid stops shitting, and I think everything’s over. It’s not. The kid’s bawling at this point, and I feel really bad for him. He tries to run away, but slips and falls face-first into a pool of his own shit. He doesn’t get up. Fuck. I look around, praying there’s another cast member around for backup. There isn’t (probably all ran away, come to think of it). FUCK. I step towards the kid, wading through his pool of liquid shit. It smelled AWFUL. I rolled the kid over, just so he wouldn’t drown in his own shit. “You OK?” I ask. He coughs, and then proceeds to puke ALL OVER ME. It’s horrible puke too, all red and foamy. At this point, all my senses are overwhelmed, so I vomit too, and fall into the devil’s brew of liquids on the ground. I panic, and struggle to get up, and that’s when I hear the click! of my camera wrapped around my neck.
And as luck would have it, the kid’s parents came running around the corner to find me laying on top of their son, covered in shit and puke, and freeze. I could only give them a shit-eating grin before I fainted…
23. There were flies on top of the food
I used to work on Main Street at Disneyland in one of the cafes. On my first day, I noticed that there were flies hovering around on the pastries in the glass display cases at the counter and told my supervisor. She then tells me that they turned off the lights in that particular case so customers wouldn’t be able to see the flies, and we could continue selling them.
24. A woman flashed the camera
A security guard had to escort 3 teen girls from the park for flashing the camera (topless).
25. A man was arrested for public intoxication
I once saw a man get arrested for being publicly intoxicated at the Aerosmith Roller Coaster in Disney world. He had his like 7 year old daughter with him and it was really sad. They had to pin him to the ground and everything.