She was a smoker and would cough during sex.
I showed this guy the “bad lip reading” videos, and sat there laughing so hard I was crying actual tears. And he just sat next to me in total silence. Didn’t even break a smile.
He was a Celtics fan and the Celtics/Lakers rivalry wouldn’t let me get past that.
A girl invited me back to her apartment and she turned on a Dane Cook special. We kept trying to make out but she kept laughing so hard at his jokes she would have to stop. It was probably the lowest point of my life; my make out skills were overpowered by the comedic talents of Dane Cook.
He told me he was a compulsive masturbator and had to masturbate 6 times a day to feel “healthy and happy.”