This week, Dan Savage was talking on his podcast about everyone’s grandmother’s favorite dinner topic: anal sex. Though this is not the first time he’s addressed the subject, nor is he the only popular sex guru to do so, it still remains an act that is hotly debated in sex-positive and feminist spaces. There are many who blame sex experts for giving advice about how to make anal sex less painful, rather than encouraging the initiators of a new sex act to focus on the comfort of their partner.
This, of course, ignores the pervasive problem of people — even in otherwise loving relationships — being pressured into things that they do not feel comfortable doing. Some propose that a focus on the initiators of acts like anal sex not pushing too hard when it comes to requesting a new sex act is essential to sex positivity, more so than explaining how to make it hurt less. But is that part of a loving relationship, trying new things, even ones that don’t necessarily float your own boat? Or is sex positivity sometimes at the expense of personal comfort zones?
What do you think? Leave a comment below.