10 Signs Of An Excellent First Date

1. An entire hour has gone by and neither one of you has faked a bathroom trip, received a “really important work email,” or directly asked for permission to look at your cellphone.

2. They haven’t mentioned their ex. Talking about past relationships on a first date is illegal and indicates that the date is distracted. When you meet someone for the first time and like them, you should be in the present. You should be thinking to yourself, “Wow! I really like this person I can have new experiences with!” Not “Oh my god, my ex is the worst! Let me tell you EVERYTHING, super cool new person I want to date!”

3. They’re finding excuses to grab your arm or knee and it’s not creepy. Not to get all Cosmo on you guys but body language is everything. A casual knee rub means things are headed in the “Let’s get naked and potentially have babies!” direction. It all starts with the unnecessary knee rub.

4. You allude to hanging out again in the near future and they don’t recoil or start talking about how they’re traveling every week for the foreseeable future.

5. They laugh at your online dating horror stories and share their own instead of guiltily nodding along while silently judging you.

6. Your date is hotter than the pics they posted on their online dating profile.

7. In complete defiance of your expectations, you continue to make hilarious, rapid-fire jokes and meaningful eye-contact, not once stumbling over your words or engaging in uncontrollable, excessive mumbling and awkward joking, which you often do in uncomfortable situations, such as first dates.

8. Your date has ignored two phone calls to listen raptly to you humblebrag about your profession.

9. Your date remembers specific details from your profile and the messages you’ve exchanged and uses that information to make conversation rather than showing up completely clueless like it’s a cold call.

10. They don’t invite you into their apartment. Sleeping with someone on the first date usually means “You’re cool and stuff but I kind of just want to get it in and never call you back.” By keeping it chaste with a simple make out sesh, you’re telling the person that you would like to see them again. You just need a build-up and some preservation of mystery first. By denying them a “tour” of your place, it’s like you’re giving yourself insurance, a guaranteed call-back. “JUST SAY NO TO GET A LONG-TERM YES!” TC mark

image – Greg Habermann

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • Brian

    *10 Signs Your First Date With Someone From An Online Dating Service Wasn’t Horrible

    • ginjoint

      Because almost everyone uses it nowadays lol

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    i kept picturing each step in my head as i was reading it. one day..

  • Bronoymous

    thanks for the advice eharmony©

  • http://luzeng.wordpress.com/ fs

    I was smiling with this until the last point, and then bluntly saw who was sponsoring this. 

    “The reason we didn’t accept gay users was so we could model the graph as bipartite” — your social positions are insulting your engineers, eHarmony.

  • AK

    …until you find out after said amazing date that he’s super needy and kind of creepy and lies about things.

  • Natalie

    Guess these don’t apply to me since I’m a fag and not allowed to use your website :(

  • Ernestoelgato

    I had a fantastic time when I was single and dating (until I met my husband). I really think people need to relax an remember to have fun while being safe. I always had general rules that I would follow like 2 drink maximum,  I would meet dates at the restaurant, and I would be home at a reasonable time. 

    • TeacherEd

      I met my wife online… I went through on 2 dates until I found her.  She is fantastic!

  • Yshapiro87

    I met my husband on eHarmony. We got married 3 years later!

  • oliver

    My best friend met his wife on an online dating site.  

  • Buster4

    I’ve tested out the online dating scene for a few years now.  I must admit though there are an abundance of strange people out there amidst some that are normal.  I went through that LONG eHarmony questionnaire and must admit to-date it’s been the only site that I’ve found someone normal and nice. 

    • Chewa_11

      I agree. The super long questionnaire weeds out the people who aren’t really there for a long term relationship. If you don’t have the patience to fill out a survey all about you, how can others expect you to have the patience to get through the ups and downs of a relationship?

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  • http://setoshino.wordpress.com Setoshino

    Reblogged this on The World Without Us.

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