A Conversation On Jake Lodwick’s “Past Capacity”

Christopher:
What do you think of Jake?

Boris:
He reminds me of a Jewish stand-up comedian.

C:
He reminds me more of Eminem, who is neither a comedian nor Jewish. (Boris, I think you’re thinking of Daniel Coffeen.)

B:
I really don’t want to have this conversation.

C:
No, come on, answer me this: what’s the best part of “Past Capacity”?

B:
That it ends.

C:
Don’t be like that.

B:
Okay, there’s a lot of corny wordplay and throwaway lines, but ultimately he has something quite serious in mind here. What is that? I don’t know and I’m not terribly curious to find out.

C:
He says one of the purposes is “to remake the world in the vision of Jake.”

B:
Okay, like Freud, he is lapsed Jew trying to find a replacement for God?

C:
Whoa, why all the anti-Semitism?

B:
There’s nothing anti-Semitic about it, it’s just a cultural comparison.

C:
Isn’t that just the modern, post-Kafka condition: trying, searching to find a replacement for God?

B:
Yes, when you have run out of other options – what else are you going to do but privilege the self to the highest degree?

C:
What’s wrong with privileging the self? Isn’t that what Whitman sings all about? God expressing himself through us.

B:
It could be.

C:
Is God talking through Jake??

B:
He’s giving deep expression to the God within him, for sure.

C:
Sense that’s a bad thing, in the gospel according to Boris.

B:
You think?

C:
He’s fresh. He’s doing good things.  It’s deep, ethical, accessible, and fun. What more could we ask for?

B:
I think it’s shallow, superficial, and tragic that a human being could spend so much time on such nonsense.

C:
What’s wrong with nonsense? I love nonsense.

B:
If you’re Lewis Carroll.

C:
Or Dante… But, why can’t Jake be like Lewis Carroll?

B:
Cause there’s no Alice.

C:
Why does Alice matter?

B:
Because Alice is a blond nymph.

C:
Are you saying Jake needs hot girls in his videos?

B:
Why not? He could be telling them stories, and “groundbreaking speeches in rhyme.” They might listen. They might take him seriously. TC mark

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Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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