This New Dating Trend Is Called ‘Dispose Or Settle’ And It Doesn’t Look Promising

Brigitte Tohm

Hallelujah to the summer days in Australia!! I was catching up with my old housemates after a long time. On the way to the restaurant my friend and I got talking about the show the Bachelorette.

Thanks to how big social media is in our day Sam Frost’s breakup with the good-looking Sasha was all over Australia. I admitted how upset I felt about the whole breakup even though I did not know them personally. I watched every episode of the show from day 1 and I was always #teamsasha. I have always been a lover of romance and their happy ending seemed perfect in my eyes, even though they found love on national television. How did it not work out? They seemed perfect for each other. Sure, it’s all butterflies and fairies when you first start off a relationship but after claiming their love for each other on TV how could it fall apart in just 18 months?  My friend blurted, “maybe something better came up.” That got me thinking relationships and people have become disposable.

On many occasions, I have found my friends and I going on dates, (note that I say my friends because this does not happen to just me, I am not the common denominator here) whether we’ve met them on tinder, at a bar, festival or through a friend.

One date leads to a second and a third and everything is going fantastic. Your friends meet his friends, everyone gets along. We text each other every day, snapchat and even talk on the phone and you start to feel like this is going somewhere and suddenly it’s radio silence.

So, you send a snapchat trying your best not to look desperate but you don’t get a reply. Then summon up all your courage to send a casual text. NADA. You are no longer in their life! So, you keep your chin up and continue living and next minute bump into him at a bar with beautiful blonde girl, who is skinnier than you, with perfect hair and latest the Jimmy Choo’s (for the men reading, those are very expensive, good looking shoes).

There you go, you have been disposed.

In this generation, it is easier to dispose than telling someone the truth about how you feel and letting the other person live with peace of mind.

That is one end of the scale, on the other end of the scale you see people continue living in a miserable relationship where they don’t feel appreciated or included, allowing themselves to settle in life with their relationships. I myself am guilty of settling in a relationship. Days go by and I think to myself it will change, things are just rocky for now, it’s because we are both career driven. His parents will learn to love me. None of those maybe’s, because or any of the other words we use to make excuses ever came true.

I grew up watching my grandparents love each other more as they grew older. Now that I am an adult and I take a good look around I see what is embedded in society and has become quite the social norm. It seems completely ‘ok’ to move on from one person to another just as quickly as Melbourne’s weather changes. You will often find people say, ‘let’s just stay casual till we know where we are headed.’

So, my question to every precious human being is, how do we find the middle ground of the scale without feeling that we are settling or disposing someone? Or better yet does a middle ground even exist today? TC mark

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