I met my future faker through an online dating website. I convinced myself to try the old school way to find love, as I don’t fancy swiping. After a few days, he sent me a message, and soon we set an appointment to meet in person. We clicked right away – or so I thought.
The days we spent together were like a dream, even though they didn’t last long. I thought he was the one I’ve been waiting for all those years. I sincerely thought that finally, my soulmate had found me – he’s here in front of me.
Little did I know that he was a master behind a dream. A dream that he crafted so well and practiced into perfection. A dream with a single actor and endless supporting women. And I was one of those women.
We had so many things in common, from favorite songs to a love of travelling to cleanliness. Mr. Virgo had found Ms. Capricorn.
We complemented each other, him with his mature thinking and me with my childlike behaviour. He told me to never change, for I could keep him young.
He shared his dreams and fears. I shed tears and he wiped them away gently. I sincerely cared about the man who sat beside me. I wonder what he’d been thinking at that moment. Was he touched? Or was it a score for him?
He talked about marriage, babies, and a place where he’d love to retire. Sure, no matter how much he love-bombed me, it was honestly too soon and too much to digest.
However, as someone who feels the thrill of the unknown, I saw it as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It doesn’t take long for me to book a return flight ticket or make a deposit for a dream trip. So why should I be scared, when the yang of my yin was right there in front of me? After all, I’d rather die without regrets than live with regrets.
But when it comes to love, too soon is a red flag.
Committing your life to another person shouldn’t be taken impulsively. You can’t use the internet to find out everything about your partner like how you would your dream destinations.
It takes time to get to know someone in person. It takes time to see how they react when things aren’t going the right way. It takes time for the relationship to develop. It takes time for both of you to realize if stepping up the game is what you want.
Furthermore, before you bring another human being into this world, it takes time for you to realize if your partner is the right parent for your child.
Sadly, I didn’t see it that way. For someone who never talks in her sleep, I was sleepwalking.
When the time came to start our baby project, he disappeared. He disappeared on something that he wanted and talked about the most. Did something happen to him? Did he get cold feet?
Puzzled and heartbroken, I relied on Google to find some logical reasons why a man who passionately discussed the future, regarded himself as my future husband, and told his daughter about me (he’s divorced) suddenly ghost me.
Then I found out that I’d been future-faked.
Future fakers are people who talk about the future and make promises to get what they want in the present. They love the feeling of pleasing you and telling you what you want to hear.
Most of them create a fantasy and intimacy to enhance their self-images because they’re afraid that you won’t like what you see after getting to know the real them.
I’d love to see the real him. I really would.
He didn’t have to love-bomb me or talk about the future. I was happy spending time with him.
To the one who future-faked me, my prayer goes to you.
I pray one day you’ll wake up and stop pretending, because you’re enough.
I pray that you’ll find happiness and peace within without breaking people’s hearts.
Thank you for the great life lesson. I now realize what I really want in life and in a relationship. I now understand myself better.
I sincerely hope you’re feeling happy now.