RomanceDating

12 Warning Signs That Your Bumble Match Is Really Just One Giant Red Flag

When choosing from the plethora of dating app options, one of the most popular is Bumble. Bumble is unarguably the kinder, gentler cousin of Tinder. Less intimidating for women (specifically women seeking hetero-normative relationships), it allows women complete control over who is able to match or message with them. This can significantly reduce your creep quota, but only if you know what signs to look for.

Rest assured, there are ways to preserve your precious energy. When determining if your potential bouquet of red roses is in fact a bouquet of red flags, consider these warning signs.

1. Any frat boy symbols. At all. Run.

Date a frat boy if you want, but don’t make it one whose only tangible personality trait is his “bros.”

2. Hunting Pictures.

I get it, you’re a salt-of-the-earth hunter and gatherer, and you don’t care who knows it! Good for you. Unfortunately, the image of you crouching over a dead deer just doesn’t get me horny. Try something a little less bloody.

3. “Let’s skip the small talk and meet up.”

You mean skip the one opportunity I have to predetermine if you’re a murderer (or if I just hate you) before skipping off to meet a stranger off the internet? Great, sounds great.

4. Questionable answers to profile questions or prompts.

If their “dream dinner guest” is transphobe Dave Chapelle or their “favorite artist” is R. Kelly, it’s a red flag. We know better.

5. The self-righteous “humanitarian” bio.

If their bio reads like the volunteering section of a resume, keep swiping. You’re a good person—I’m happy for you. But if you’re already sucking your own dick, what do you need me for?

6. The photographer.

His linked instagram page is exclusively women posed suggestively, supposedly Bumble dates past. No, I won’t come to your shoot to “chill.” You’re not creative, you’re just creepy.

7. The laissez-faire online dater.

His only photos are with his ex-girlfriend. He hasn’t written a bio. Cmon, are you even trying here?

8. “I’m not big on texting a bunch… Real life is much more interesting.”

Of course real life is more interesting. Do you want a hero cookie or something? We both know that what you really want is a hook up to come over. Right now.

9. “Looking for an adventure partner.” 

Don’t be fooled by visions of skydiving and paddle boarding. I guarantee Chad’s idea of a date is Netflix and chill.

10. The Country Boy™.

Nothings wrong with loving your truck (okay, maybe) or liking country music, but if they base their entire online persona around it, they’re more than likely to be the poster child for toxic masculinity.

11. Any suggestion to “check out my soundcloud.”

Nuff said.

12. Last but not least: Where do your own interests lie?

Ask yourself, Is he interesting or does he just have a cute dog? Is he hot or is he just tall?

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About the author
Canadian. Feminist. Pop culture addict. Leftist. Foodie. Follow Theresa-Anne on Instagram or read more articles from Theresa-Anne on Thought Catalog.

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