And there you find yourself, single. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no romantic love story, no best friend to come home to at the end of the day, no partner in crime to go on fun trips and dates with. It’s just you. Maybe your prior relationship ended in heartbreak, or maybe you’ve never been in a relationship, or maybe you amicably broke up with your ex because it’s what was best. No matter how it happened, you are now going at this life without a significant other there to walk alongside you.
We convince ourselves that this is somehow bad or embarrassing or lonely. We look around at movies and strangers on the street and our friends and are constantly reminded that others are happily in relationships while we are alone. And so the cycle of questioning what is wrong with us continues as we desperately seek someone to be with. We make our brains believe that life is only about finding another person to go through life with, that once we have that someone we will somehow become more–more worthy, more accepted, more admired, more joyful. We will finally be enough.
But what we don’t realize is that by focusing so intently on having someone want to be with us, we are actually putting out a desperate energy. We are putting out an insecure energy. We are putting out an unconfident energy. And in turn, we are attracting the exact same thing.
So maybe we need to learn to focus our energy on falling madly in love with ourselves before we attempt to fall in love with someone else. For being in a relationship does not make us enough–we’re already enough on our own. Take yourself on a date, plan a solo trip, make a delicious recipe for one, find what passions ignite your soul, speak uplifting words to yourself. Learn to enjoy being with yourself.
When we pour our heart into embracing and truly appreciating who we are and the stage of life we are in, then the right kind of love will naturally be drawn to us. I can guarantee you this. Until then, keep celebrating your singleness. Remind your soul that this part of your journey is equally as special as when you enter into a relationship.