You’re not okay.
What happened to you was wrong.
Very, very wrong.
And anyone who tells you that it was okay, that you’re okay, couldn’t have been more wrong.
It’s a lie. And they’re all liars.
Liars. Liars. Liars.
You’re NOT okay.
What happened to you is NOT okay.
Everything is NOT okay.
It’s okay, though, to feel like shit.
It’s okay to sit gloomily in your room wrapped inside your blanket.
It’s okay to listen to the saddest song you’ve ever heard on repeat and feel inconclusive.
It’s okay to want to cry and yell and scream, but not be able to.
It’s okay to let your emotions be unknown.
What you need to know is this: You are important. What you feel is important. What you’ve been through is important. What it made you learn is important. But facing it is the MOST important.
It’s better to have your truth out there on a platter, raw and vulnerable, just like you, rather than stuffing it inside yourself.
So when you’re quiet and zoned out, don’t let people tell you you’ll be okay when you won’t be. When they see you and tell you, “You’re okay, everything will be okay,” you can tell them the truth.
No, I’m not. I’m not okay. And I don’t know when I will be okay. But, I will be. I will be okay.
One day, I will wake up and I will not feel any lesser about myself, I will not break down because of nothing, I will not feel empty yet filled with emotions. I will not feel vile and disgusting yet try to rub the vileness off of me. I will not feel like the most alone person in the world.
One day, I will look myself in the mirror and I will find me. I will look myself in the mirror and I will recognize the person staring back at me. I will look myself in the mirror and the tears that will accompany the smile will be tears of joy. I will be me again. I’ll be complete again.
But until the day I’m okay again, let me be not okay.