29 Things Only 90s Kids Will Understand

Twenty20 / cmo9711
Twenty20 / cmo9711
  1. Death.
  2. Life losing its flavor as quickly as a piece of Fruit Stripe gum.
  3. Torturing your Sims just to feel alive. Secretly wishing your Tamagotchi would die.
  4. Gettin’ jiggy with disappointment.
  5. Hailing Satan.
  6. Asking for a refund on your Happy Meal because you accidentally wept all over it.
  7. Rolling virtual dice in a chat room because there are no words to describe your all-encompassing isolation.
  8. Stepdads with frosted tips.
  9. Forsaking Jesus in a Blockbuster.
  10. Dostoevsky.
  11. The desire to craft a definitive and irrevocable away message and remain idle for eternity.
  12. Losing your will to live in a minivan on a road trip to Hershey Park.
  13. Getting bullied by your imaginary friends.
  14. Seeing your hopes and dreams unspool like an Ace of Base cassette tape.
  15. That sinking feeling that Encarta ’95 never had all the answers.
  16. Waldo is fucked.
  17. Buying 12 CDs for a penny, paying for the 13th with your soul (plus $35 shipping and handling).
  18. The unbearable ignominy cast upon you by a shelf of Participation Awards and Good Sportsmanship trophies.
  19. Blowing insignificant specks of dust from a Super Nintendo cartridge and inexplicably weeping.
  20. Forgetting to “Be Kind and Rewind” and then finding out the next day your dad is going on a “permanent business trip.”
  21. The disquieting realization that even Faith Hill can’t save us now.
  22. Woe.
  23. Your childhood delusions slowly decaying in front of a live studio audience in Nickelodeon Studios at Universal Studios, Florida.
  24. Asking a Magic 8-Ball if there was a God and getting the answer “Outlook not so good.”
  25. Having a panic attack at the Book Fair.
  26. Upgrading to AOL 5.4 and feeling that same ol’ loneliness.
  27. The curious urge to fill up a Super Soaker with your tears and ruin Todd’s annual Birthday Pool Party Bash once and for all.
  28. Asking for a bowl-cut as a cry for help.
  29. Melissa Joan Hart. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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