I’ll miss the nights we spent driving around in the Swedish Limo (Volvo) blasting dubstep with all the windows down, pushing 100mph in a clearly labeled 45mph on some random back road in upstate New York. Until now, I never considered it joyriding. We were traveling. We would troll google maps like it’s our job. Sometimes we would find a destination to explore, but the trip there was all that mattered. These nights all run together in my memory now. Glares from the streetlights overhead leave a lucid stamp on my memory.
I’m still amazed at how fast it happened. We all became friends so quickly. I’m the youngest; the rest will be attending university in the fall whereas I have one more year of high school. They assure me it will be the best year of my life…but while they’re all moving onto a new chapter in their lives, I will be finishing an old one in mine without the people who I’ve grown so attached to and fond of.
Sometimes we would trespass. Well, most times we would trespass. There was something so satisfying about being where you shouldn’t be doing things you shouldn’t be doing. My parents were never the wiser. I was scared…terrified…of what would happen if they found out I wasn’t ever where I said I was. I would always joke and say, “If I die tonight, I want it to be where I told my parents I was going to be. Take it easy around this turn.” Every car ride terrified me more than the previous. I felt like my luck was running out. I knew the things we did were so unsafe, but I never felt safer than when I was with these people.
I guess it didn’t really matter where we were or what we were doing. They are not like anyone I’ve ever been friends with. They are different. They are smart. They are clever. They are accepting. I can be my true, different, self with them. We had good times, both sober and not sober. It made no difference. When I was with them I felt drunk, high, happy. Instead of That 70’s Show, we were That Early 21st Century Show. They taught me to live in the moment, socially. They specified socially. They told me I always have to be thinking about the future, but not when it comes to relationships or hanging out. The most fun we had was on the nights that we didn’t have a plan but just lived in the moment and followed those winding roads.
Sometimes I wish our adventures happened during the day so I could remember where we went. I want to find those winding roads, those private properties, those strange fields, and take other people there. I want to adopt an underclassman like they adopted me, and change them, like they changed me. I don’t know what next summer will be like. I don’t know if our clan will hangout consistently or sporadically, if at all. But for now, I’m not worrying about that. I’m living in the moment.