Thought Catalog

Lizzie McGuire: Where Are The Characters Now?

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It’s been 8 years since we left Lizzie, and it’s hard not to wonder what likely became of her, and all the people we felt like we grew up with, too. Here, a glimpse on what their life has become since we last saw them.

Kate

Kate’s a comparative literature major at some small liberal arts school south of the Mason-Dixon line, and president of a sorority with the word “Kappa” in it. She and Ethan dated on and off for most of high school, but after a post-prom-night pregnancy scare they called it off for good.

Ethan

He’s studying business somewhere in the Midwest, and developing a significant beer gut. He’ll go bald and Kate’s stomach will drop when she sees him at the ten-year reunion, but if he plays his cards right, she’ll make out with him anyway.

Mr. And Mrs. McGuire

Mr. and Mrs. McGuire are still married, and still weird. Empty nest syndrome hit hard after Lizzie and Matt left for college, so they adopted a hedgehog — it seemed like the quirky thing to do.

Matt

Matt’s studying computer science at a technical institute with a 70/30 male-to-female ratio. Matt makes the most of this wide disparity. Parties all the time. He’ll end up working as a programmer in a fairly big city who mostly forgets to call his mom back.

Miranda

Miranda is studying fashion at Pratt, or some equally pretentious urban art school. Lots of piercings. Maxed out her credit card on a fancy camera she doesn’t know how to use — and never took the time to learn. She’s mostly a lesbian, but hates labels, and loves ecstasy.

Lizzie

Lizzie’s studying elementary education at a state school. She didn’t have the grades to get into a stereotypically fancy school, but that never really mattered to her. She’s head of her school’s “Go Green!” initiative and sometimes writes for the newspaper. She regularly stalks Miranda’s blog, even though they haven’t spoken in three or four years. She studied abroad in Rome in order to see Isabella; their plans to record a reunion duet never materialized, but they still keep in touch through a steady stream of transatlantic letters. Paulo works a tourist-y street cart and spends his nights writing songs in pursuit of his big comeback. He refuses to sell his vespa, even though he could really use it for rent money.

Gordo

Gordo is studying something scientific at a Little Ivy. He’s got a really great, tight group of friends who alternate between binge drinking and Risk on weekends. Even though it’s the most improbable thing in the world, he and Lizzie are still dating. They tried to take a break during their freshman year of college, more out of a forced sense of obligation than genuine desire, but when Gordo tried to kiss other girls he always ended up drunkenly rambling about Lizzie and scaring everyone away. His college friends secretly don’t really get what the big deal about Lizzie is. She seems fine, but kind of boring, and there seems to be no real reason as to why Gordo’s so hopelessly in love with her. He’s hardly a bastion of eloquence, but when he shows them this dumb video of her randomly being an Italian pop star at thirteen in lieu of an explanation, they just laugh at him. They’ll never understand how he was crowded in the wings, watching her, entranced. She flashed him a small grin as she shimmied and his heart leapt up into his throat. It was then and there that it dawned on him — that she was the best girl he’d ever know; a realization he still isn’t able to shake, a decade later. TC mark

image – Disney

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    • Domino

      THIS WAS FANTASTIC. 

    • lizziefolife.

      thank you.

    • Guest

      I liked this but it got really weird with the last paragraph…..

      • ben

        If by weird you mean wonderful and sweet, than yes it did.

      • guest

        ia, it just randomly turned into lizzie/gordo fanfic…

    • Fannnn246

      I love this! It seems accurate, too! Ha!

    • Anonymous

      I’m agreeing with everything except Ethan, because he was as dumb as a bag of hammers and I always pictured him as a gas station attending XD

    • MEH

      Fanfiction. Ah.

    • Sporder19

      this. was. amazing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/tayloradams28 Taylor Adams

      This has to be my favorite article on Thought Catalog. LOVE!!!

    • MileHigh

      Kate is actually my friends roommate, going to law school smoking weed and super embarrassed she was ever associated with Lizzie…. True story.

      • beatrice

        Oh gosh, I can’t believe she’s embarrassed that she’s associated with Lizzie. That’s like Christy Carlson Romano going off to columbia for political science and being embarrassed bout even stevens and kim possible..totally impossible

        • Anonymous

          It’s like every movie where the popular blonde cheerleader ends up coked out & pregnant and the normal girl lives on and has a happy life in the end. 
          I also don’t think anyone actually remembers what Kate looked like except some blonde with pink and purple fluff 

        • Jax

          Totally *kimpossible!
          Zinggggg

      • lolz

        just looked at the girl who played miranda’s wikipedia page and turns out she got arrested for having meth in 2007 m/

        • http://www.facebook.com/anisankar Anisha Sankar

          HAHAHA

      • Lisa

        lol oh please it’s not like she did other stuff

    • beatrice

      Gordo actually is in berkeley (is that considered a little ivy? No idea. Are little ivies the lesser known ivy leagues or the ivies of non ivy league schools? Uh yea..sorry i’m asian)

      • Lisa

        lol he studied geo and graduated years ago

    • Shimmy

       hahah awesome!  I feel like they’re my long lost friends.

    • Sophia

      this made my day. love.

    • catstark

      this is a brilliant piece of fanfic. gorzzie is my OTP!!!!!

    • http://www.facebook.com/josephbrillantes Joseph Brillantes

      i always thought lizzie would go to art school. hmm.

    • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

      “They’ll never understand how he was crowded in the wings, watching her, entranced. She flashed him a small grin as she shimmied and his heart leapt up into his throat. It was then and there that it dawned on him — that she was the best girl he’d ever know; a realization he still isn’t able to shake, a decade later.”

      That might be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read.

      • Guest

        oh my god you comment this sort of thing on every articleee

        • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

          i’m sorry my comments cause you that distress.

          no, idc.

        • guest

          so she appreciates beautiful writing and your solution is to shit on her for it? go take your negativity elsewhere, hater.

    • Jessicakaz111

      Gordo is def at Dartmouth. 

    • guest

      this is absolutely fucking awesome

    • A-W

      Miranda definitely has feather extensions. 

      • A-W

        (dw LaLaine you’ll always be in my heart.)

    • Guest

      Ummmm I am dying. I was blow drying my hair two days ago and was like “what the hell happened to the Lizzie McGuire peeps?” Now I know. This is hilarious. Well done.

    • http://ladymercury-10.livejournal.com/ Maiasaura

      Ahahaha, this is so perfect!

    • http://twitter.com/Commander_Co0l Tony Fernandez

      anyone else think this should be part of a reunion episode?

    • Myka

      I love that Gordo had the longest description. As for Miranda, always thought she’d be a lesbian. :)

      • agree

        I think even disney knew she was going to be a lesbian. Remember that episode where they took career aptitude tests or something, and Miranda got Navy Seal and then it cut to her doing one arm push ups? LOL.

    • Brid

      Lizzie and Gordo are like Daisy and Gatsby, but with tiny backpacks and Technicolor flares.

    • Guest

      ok did you mean Miranda or Lalaine?

    • http://crushable.com/entertainment/hilary-duff-back-to-tv-lizzie-mcguire-gordo-miranda-839/ Hilary Duff Coming Back to TV, Sadly Not for Lizzie McGuire Sequel

      […] the meantime, read this fantastic piece from Thought Catalog envisioning where Lizzie, Gordo, Miranda, Mr. and Mrs. McGuire, and Matty are all now. It perfectly […]

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