An Open Letter To Who Gives A Hoot?

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Dear…Who Gives A Hoot?

This letter is intended for whoever gives a hoot, because if you’re reading this you apparently do (give a hoot). There’s a lot of stuff out there you could be reading, but instead you’ve chosen to be here, pretending to give a hoot about what’s going on. My question is, does anybody really give a hoot about anything anymore?


Is everybody just pretending to give hoots about stuff? There are literally infinite messages out there in the world as this very moment, this being one of them, that audiences are expected to think about. The only way to show you’ve thought about it, or taken it in, is to share it with other people, which in turn adds to blackhole of message consumption we’ve all fallen into. You need to follow you favorite brands, media outlets and personalities for updates on what’s going, but then also see what your friends not in the biz are saying about those same topics. The question remains: who gives a hoot?

Now, this is an open letter to anybody that gives a hoot, so I don’t expect a response, but it’s understood that those who do give said hoots will have read this particular letter. So, is that essentially what all communication methods have become? Does anybody or any entity really care what’s being put out there into the world, so long as there are massive quantities of consumers prepared to pretend to give up their precious hoots?

This letter is the perfect form of online content creation, and marketing, because the idea of this piece is directed specifically toward a niche audience of hoot givers. Now, I’m writing this letter to you, my precious and much appreciated hoot givers, for one simple reason: I aim to point out all the ways in which people pretend to give a hoot.

  • A fav
  • A RT
  • A share
  • A like
  • A comment

All these things imply hoot giving, but are they actual concrete evidence of doing the giving of hoots? Does the person who RTs a major media outlet story link within seconds of it being posted really give a hoot? Or, have they just been scouring the web and trying to seem up to date on viral matters? Does a person who shares something after only having read the headline really give a hoot, or are they just hoping to spark an ill-informed conversation on their own personal feed among like-minded false hoot givers?

Like I said, there are so many places you could be spending your quality online time, but you’ve chosen to be here and embrace the words that this author and this website are bestowing upon you, and you’ve made it this far down the page. Currently, you’re roughly 467 hoots in, and don’t seem to be looking back anytime soon. This letter has found its way into your online realm of activities, because of a very specific notion: you give a hoot about this stuff.

This isn’t the first time this has happened to you, or your fellow readers, either. By giving a hoot about a similar online dictation here, or elsewhere, this particular thing you’re supposed to care about is also being pushed into your brainwaves. All of that is fine and well, but things are far from over here. You’ve invested this much time and effort, so by now it’s clear that you in fact give a hoot about what I’m saying here.

The question still remains: if you do give a hoot, which as I said it’s pretty clear you do at this point, what are you going to do about it?

– Purveyor Of Things For You To Give A Hoot About

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