Something Only People Who Read Will Understand

Flickr / Zhao !
Flickr / Zhao !

Hi there—how you doing? Good, good. So you like to read a lot? Yeah, you’re totally going to understand this then. If you read, this is really going to set in with you. Sit back and get ready to connect on a personal level.

Reading is something that takes a truly intelligent person to understand, and if you’ve made it this far you’re doing quite all right, but there’s still a ways to go. Now let’s get back to the reading. You understand right? You’re reading this and it’s all sinking in, and if not I’m wondering if you even understand what you’re looking at. In fact, if you don’t know what you’re reading, I just want to come out and say it—you’re dumb. I’m confident that if you don’t understand the little something that was promised in the title, then you won’t have been able to understand that insult either.

So, here we are: words pouring out from the soul of an omnipotent writer and you, looking to understand something on a deeper level. How’s it going? Still follow? Good—forge ahead then. As stated in the headline and subsequent first few paragraphs you, as a reader, will totally understand what is going on here. Congratulations, because once again, you are reading, and this whole thing resonates with you.

Let’s get down to brass tacks—or as you may be able to comprehend it otherwise, the important stuff. Look at you reading and understanding and such. Great job. What’s this whole thing about? You reading and understanding, because only you, a person who reads, can do just that.

You probably like to think of yourself as a person who enjoys cracking open a good book and just diving into it. You might even think of yourself as a person who scours the internet and consumes mass quantities of news, while being a very well-adept person in literature and information. That may be true, and if it is, you also totally know what is going on here. You’re a reader, dang it. This is what you do: you read, and henceforth understand the meaning of the words.

In fact, you know exactly what is in front of you right now, and if you indeed do not understand, then you are not a reader and do not understand. Yes, only people who read understand the text that has been put upon this particular screen for viewing.

Back to what was promised—the thing only people who read will understand. Well, there you have it. That’s it. You understand, assuming you read that. You’ve unlocked the secret. You understand something that only a person who can read would have the ability to do. The internet is full of self-help hacks promising to improve your life with something you needed assistance understanding. This article is much the same, except the answer was in you all along—you understand already, if you can read that is.

To answer your question and validate your thinking…yes, that is precisely it. You do understand and you are in fact a person who reads and gets it. You see, these are words, and you are reading them, which in turn means that ipso facto you are a person who reads and only you (and other people who can read) will understand this.

¿Comprende? Thought so. Also, you are partially bilingual apparently. Way to go. While we are at it, just to clarify, if you have come to this point you are someone who greatly understands what is going on, because in fact you are one of those people who can read.

To take things further, let’s see if you really are a person who reads and understands. Has this whole thing been a facade to make you think you wouldn’t understand what was going on after all? Has it been? Think about it. If your answer was no, congratulations. You are one of the chosen few who can read and by the sheer definition of the word, which you understand, you are a person who understands this. TC mark

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