4 Things You’re Actually Saying When You Say You Have Trust Issues

Brian Oldham

I get it. I’ve been there. Actually, I am there. I am one of those people that no matter who it is, I have a hard time trusting them. It could be an asshole guy, or a really sweet, caring and loving guy. It could be my roommate or my best friend. I. Don’t. Trust. It’s a terrible trait to have and causes more problems in relationships than almost anything else. And when you say “I have trust issues”, it means more than just that.

1. You’re saying that you don’t deserve to be loved. When you have trust issues, you don’t have the faith in someone to not walk away from you. You don’t believe that someone can truly love you enough to not eventually hurt you or let you down. You’re constantly thinking that there is someone out there better than you and fear the day the person you’re with will realize that too and walk out of your life.

2. You’re saying you’ve been hurt before.Usually, mistrust stems from a past experience. Whether you were cheated on, lied to or stabbed in the back by a friend, something usually triggers these feelings of uneasiness and constant worry. You let your guard down once and vow that you’ll never be that naïve again. There are times when this could have occurred subconsciously as well- for example, being treated as an outcast as a child or suddenly losing a loved one. In this case, feeling safe and secure can be an obstacle.

3. You’re saying you’re insecure. Don’t take this one the wrong way. Everybody, and I mean everybody has their own insecurities. Some may be more severely insecure than others but everyone has that one little thing about themselves they will compare to others and wish they could change. Insecurity makes one feel as if they’re not worthy- causing them to hold on a little tighter than they should in hopes of pulling the loved one closer. But in reality, this usually pushes them away.

4. You’re saying you don’t have faith in your partner. Whenever you tell someone you don’t trust them, it can truly cause a relationship to deteriorate. Trust me- been there, done that. They will feel like nothing they do will be good enough for you, no matter how hard they try. People like to feel dependable and appreciated. And when you say you have trust issues, they will eventually feel trapped.

When you say you have trust issues, you’re automatically setting yourself up for failure.

Stop going through his phone.

Stop coming up with worst case scenarios in your head.

Stop making assumptions.

If you end up being wrong, who cares? Those who do you wrong place you one step closer to the people who will treat you right.

Realize that you are beautiful, realize that you are smart, realize that trusting yourself and others will set you free from your thoughts.

And finally, “love in such a way so that the person you love feels free.”

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