The Brutally Honest Truth About Why I Stopped Faking Orgasms

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Matheus Ferrero / Unsplash

While growing up, I felt it was hard to obtain the ins and outs of female sexuality, as most females do, so naturally, I found out the old fashion way: porn.

The porn industry is funny, as it tries to sell you sex but hardly is an accurate portrayal of what actually happens. Pornography does two things. Firstly, it puts a large emphasis on male pleasure. Secondly, porn is presented as aggressive, intense, and loud. Young women everywhere watch in horror, soaking in the completely wrong picture. This method is not educational at all.

For that reason, when I was first becoming sexually active, both my partner and I were very confused. Trying to match the theatrical depiction of sex presented in porn and feeling inadequate when it didn’t quite match up. Desperate to make it even resemble what I’ve been shown, I did what hundreds of women have done before me: I faked it.

We’ve all been there. 

Think about all the times YOU faked an orgasm.

Was it to make them feel better? Was it because you were tired? Or was it because you thought it was the right thing to do?

Whatever the reason may be, it’s not helping anyone. 

Women everywhere have been told how to act, how to look, and how to sound, during sex. So we do it, we fake an orgasm, and it’s ruining our sex lives.

As of late, I have come to several conclusions on this topic. In the past, I felt frustrated with not only my partner but myself, for not being able to orgasm during sex. I would wonder what was wrong with me.

But, it was never about what was wrong with me, it was just a pattern I created for myself in order to fit an unrealistic image that has been presented to me.

The reason I decided to change this pattern? It’s simple.

Faking an orgasm is misleading, unrightfully building up a man’s ego and ultimately, allowing yourself to become objectified. Sex should be liberating for both partners, and you should never have to feel that you are only there to give a man satisfaction.

It’s time that men learn what to do and how to do it. It’s time to break the cycle, take control of your sex life.

But how?

Communication, communication, communication.

It may be uncomfortable at first but it is vital in order for you to take charge. Tell your partner what you like and where you like it, tell them that you aren’t feeling it and tell them when you are. Be completely honest with your partner and don’t ever be sorry about it.

You will be glad you did, as will the women that come after you.

I would like apologize to all the women that have slept with the men I have been in the past, I did you no favors.

Let’s promise from here on out, for the sake of women everywhere, to never fake it again. TC mark

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