I will come clean.
I have always been a total commitment-phobe. This day in age of social media and online dating it feels like there’s more of us than ever now.
Maybe it’s because I’m a Sagittarius that can’t stomach the idea of having my freedom restricted. Or possibly because I’m one of the weird girls who actually enjoy going out and doing things by myself.
Whatever the reason; the irony of the fact that I’m writing this article isn’t lost on me.
Recently I was at dinner with friends and we found ourselves saying things like “we were hooking up for months and hanging out all the time, he is kind of an ex but not really” or “I met her family and friends and we held hands and kissed but we never really put a label on it”.
Oh no. The dreaded “almost” relationship. You guys know what I’m talking about.
You hang out all the time and text like lovers. You meet each other’s families and friends and maybe even say “I love you.” You say you’re just taking things slow and when she ditches you to hang out with someone else you tell yourself you have no right to be mad. Months pass together and you think everything is going well until it abruptly ends. It ends and you’re left with more questions than answers.
How can you mourn something that was never really yours? How do you move on from something that never even truly began? What if? What if? What if?
I’ve found getting over an “almost” relationship is so much harder than getting over an official breakup. Your hurt feelings don’t feel justified because after all, you guys weren’t even exclusive right? We want our stories to have an organized beginning, middle, and end; yet these breakups leave us lost somewhere in the middle.
So I’m here finally to proclaim to all of my fellow commitment-phobes and finicky millennials:
STOP THIS SHIT.
Be all in or be nothing at all.
People aren’t toys on a shelf you can take off and play with whenever you feel like. If you are looking for a serious relationship, tell them. If you just want a casual hookup, tell them. Don’t send coy words or confusing emoji texts; tell them to their face what you are wanting.
If you find yourself questioning if you are in one of these “almost” relationships, I’m sorry but you probably are. I don’t care the circumstance when someone wants to be with someone else they will damn well find a way to make it happen.
We all deserve to be treated special. We all deserve to feel true love and not have to second guess. Let’s have the courage to ask for what we deserve and if we’re not receiving it then be brave enough to walk away.