1. People who sit on the outside seat, blocking the inside window seat on a crowded train, bus, subway.
This is not United Airlines, and you did NOT reserve an aisle seat. Scoot over, bro!
2. People who start off a statement with, “No offense, but….”
What do you mean, “no offense?!” You have just acknowledged that whatever is about to come out of your mouth is going to be offensive, and giving a lame disclaimer as a preamble isn’t going to make you sound like less of an a**hole. So just stop.
3. If you’re driving: pedestrians. If you’re walking: drivers. If you’re anyone: bikers.
Don’t get me wrong, I own a bike. Just stay on the bike trails, people. Driving behind a biker is frustrating because A: you are forced to drive at a snail’s pace and B: because attempting to pass them gives you severe anxiety that you are going to take them out and/or drive face first into oncoming traffic.
4. People who “forget to eat.”
This one really gets me going. Never in my life have I been so incredibly distracted that I have gone a day without eating. It is LITERALLY human nature for survival. Therefore blasting this absurd statement on social media is clearly just a cry for attention. Those who “don’t like food/don’t like to eat” are on my list too. If you don’t secretly crave a huge ice cream sundae or juicy cheeseburger every once and awhile, you just aren’t living.
5. People who decide that public settings are the appropriate place to cat-call/try to pick up girls.
When I was doing my monthly Wal-Mart trip a few days ago, a man followed me down three aisles, despite my attempts to lose him. He then broke the ice with, “You trying to navigate this place too? Where’s your significant other this evening?” Like…this is not the Bermuda Triangle, I think I can handle a Wal-Mart trip by myself. I’m pretty sure no love story ever started with, “Well kids, your Dad met me because he was whistling and screaming provocative things at me from a truck.”
6. People who try to attack you on the street to get you to sign a petition or give money to charity.
I will literally walk across the street to avoid these people. The “EXCUSE ME MA’AM…DO YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES FOR THE HOMELESS CHILDREN IN AFRICA?!” is too much of a guilt trip for me to bare. While I do feel sympathetic that these poor kids probably answered a “marketing job” ad on craigslist, I just let me walk down the street in peace.
7. People who wear those weird feet shoes.
I am always thrown off by these people. At first glance I think they’re barefoot walking down the street. Then you see their individual toes move and it’s just too much. It’s not like you’re making some fabulous fashion statement, so what’s the point?!
8. People who get on the elevator to go up one floor.
For god’s sake….TAKE THE STAIRS.
9. People who involuntarily tell you that you, “look tired/sick.”
Thanks for pointing out that I look like s***. I didn’t ask, but I appreciate the confidence boost.
10. People who are rude to the wait staff in a restaurant.
There is always an exception to the rule here when you have truly awful service. However, there are those certain cringe-worthy people that we all hate going out to eat with. Being a patron at a restaurant doesn’t somehow give you the entitlement to treat your server like a complete incompetent moron. It’s harder than it looks! I think everyone should work in the food service industry at least once in their life and gain some respect.