Stop your over thinking mind the second you start questioning whether your relationship was real.
Think about the stars and how they are always shining even when you can’t see them. Think about the wind and how it can be nonexistent one second then knocking over trees the next. Think about a deck of cards being shuffled over and over again.
But, whatever you do, do not start questioning.
Even if he were to explain his entire messed up thought process and every feeling and reason for why he hurt you, the answers will never satisfy you.
Was it…? Was it not…? How could it have been…?
None of those questions matter anymore because it is over.
You lived the relationship; it was your reality, not some abstract question plaguing your every thought. At that moment in time it was 100% real, and if it wasn’t, do you really think you would have been in that relationship?
If every minute were a lie, if every word that came out of his mouth was a fabrication, you would have figured it out long ago. You would have taken notice and left, but you didn’t. You didn’t question it then and you can’t question it now.
There doesn’t have to be an answer to every unknown; but when you are questioning whether he really loved you, stop and think about the love that is awaiting you, not the one that left you behind.