(1) I will never in a million years ask you to come to a party with me where you don’t know anyone, immediately leave your side once we get inside, and never introduce you to any of my friends who you don’t know.
(2) I’ll ask the barista to reset the WiFi when it isn’t working. I’ll act like it’s my order that got messed up and return it to the server. I’ll go to the door and pay for the pizza. I’ll go tell your upstairs neighbor to turn his music down if it’s too loud and I’m sleeping over. I don’t care. I know that stuff might bother you, but it doesn’t bother me. We compliment each other.
(3) When I run into a friend you don’t know at the store, and you’re with me, I will never act like you aren’t standing right next to me awkwardly wondering if you should interject yourself into the conversation or act like the conversation isn’t happening and slowly walk away like you’re interested in looking at something in the store. No — I’ll introduce you. Whether you want to join or not is up to you. But it won’t be weird.
(4) If we’re going out together, we’ll stay together. I won’t go off with some random group of strangers, or, if I do, you’re coming with me. And you’ll be having fun.
(5) I’ll travel with you. Roadtrip? Overseas? Backpacking? I don’t care. Like I said, we compliment each other. We’re perfect travel companions.
(6) I will push you to step outside your comfort zone. I want you to get ahead in life, and when I see that you could be doing something that your shyness inhibits, I’ll be frank about it. But only as much as is reasonable. I know your boundaries (I think), and I respect them.
(7) I will recognize that your reservedness is an asset. There is wisdom in your quiet. Your communication is smarter, more to the point — it isn’t fluffed up. I can count on you to size up the situation and tell me the brutal truth, without all that distracting sugar-coating.
(8) I will Irish exit with you when we end up at parties where everyone else is annoying. Leaving without telling any one is often the best option — and it’s better when you’re around to do it with me.
(9) I will never get mad at you for being shy. It’s why I love you. And I don’t love only when it’s convenient. I can’t promise that I won’t sometimes feel frustrated. But I won’t judge you for being who you are.
(10) Together, we will figure people out. What you assume about a person’s behavior is going to be different from mine. Together, our perspectives will identify a person’s true intentions, and let us know whether or not they’re worth our time.
(11) I’ll help you meet people. I know that’s not the thing you’re best at. I also know it’s something I’m not half bad at. I’m aware of this dynamic, and I will use it to both our advantages.
(12) I go out more than you, and I’ll let you use that to your advantage. By going out more often, I know what’s likely to be a great time and what’s likely to suck.
(13) I will never assume you don’t think something funny if you don’t laugh hysterically. I recognize that people can think something is funny without cracking up in overt displays of hilarity. I will never assume you’re mad just because you’re not grinning and smiling 100% of the time. I understand that you might have Resting Bitchface Syndrome (lol). That’s fine with me.