I wish I could tell you that the man I have been in love with for the past four years was my first love, however that isn’t how our story played out. We both went through a lot of heartbreak before we found each other.

Over time, I have noticed a pattern that plays out when it comes to the different people who enter our lives. There are three key people who teach us about the different stages of love and help us to find our true selves. Almost like a poetic chain of unanswered texts and broken records. There are three kinds of love that cross our paths and for good reason.

The immature love

This love is the “I really have to get a boyfriend” love. The one where you need to give this whole relationship thing a go. Yet, because you have had no prior experience with easing into the whole falling notion, you end up tripping and landing straight on your face… dazed and confused in this thing called L-O-V-E.

Unfortunately, this one probably didn’t work out. Maybe it’s because one if not both of you just weren’t ready for it. Maybe you had to grow a little bit more and see more of the world before you could accept the other person for more than just a phase in your journey. It’s a shame because they will always know the version of you before life shook you up or maybe… this person caused that shake up.

Either way, the immature love taught you a lot about the differences between sparks and chemistry.

The volatile love

This love is the “Let me just stare at my Pinterest breakup board and try to figure out what went wrong” love. This love really tested you, didn’t it? It probably made you feel like less of a person and really made you question your own self worth.

It’s safe to say that as much as you wanted to believe this person was the one, they ended up being the opposite of everything you ever dreamed of. Maybe that’s why you were so pulled to them in the first place. They lacked respect for you and tested you at every step. They provided you with a challenge and you really thought you could change them.

This love is toxic and cruel, always pushing and tugging to get what it wants. There is never compromise because this love feels like a battle between recalling seemingly perfect moments and trying to bury chaotic reflection.

This was the catalyst for the person you were and the person you are now after pushing through the storm.

The life love

This love is the one that probably entered your life when you least expected it. Maybe it’s someone you’ve known for a while who in an interesting twist of fate turned out to be a lot more than who you bargained for.

This is the love story the romantic comedy ends with. You know the one where they actually listen to you, take your thoughts into consideration and stay. Stay when you over analyze the way they look at you and are patient when you can’t process the trials you’ve been put through.

This is the love that carries you through, the light at the end of that dark narrow path filled with all the wrong answers. This is the love that makes you understand why you’ve been placed in that current moment.

This is the love you’ve been waiting for.