As a young girl in this big world, it is so easy to be standing so strong one minute and be completely drowning the next.
A world that is constantly changing comes with a great wall of difficulties, especially for us in the younger generations.
Your twenties are meant to be about a time where you really discover yourself. A period where you really connect with who you are as a person. You learn about all your different qualities and values and you really figure out your purpose.
Well at least that’s what society tells us.
I am now approaching the halfway mark of my twenties and I can still look in the mirror and not recognize the girl staring back at me a lot of the time. I don’t know who I am, what I stand for, where I’m going, or why I am sitting in this bedroom in London with my family thousands of miles away, writing this post.
Some days I possess all the confidence in the world, and some days my life is just a blur.
Where am I going from here?
How do you really start to come alive when you have actually been living and breathing on this planet for close to 25 years?
I am a girl who has often lived in the shadows. I kept my opinions to myself and went along, pleasing all those around me. Honestly, it was never a problem. I was the type of person who actually found joy in making the people around me happy and seeing them do the things that they wanted to do. This was also a result of the fact that I am really not confrontational. I would never wish to start an argument or hurt somebody else’s feelings in any way, shape, or form. Because of this, I never grew a backbone. I never learned to stand up for myself and I never really learned how to please myself. I spent all my years making others smile, and as a result, I never really discovered the things that made me smile.
Now that I am older, I am starting to realize that I don’t really know the girl who lives inside my body. This has been the most heartbreaking realization I have ever had to experience. I am just simply lost within my skin, and it’s rather quite embarrassing.
I have travelled, I have made positive relationships, I have a secure job, I have even moved across the world, yet I still don’t know me. And if I don’t know me, what does everything else matter?
I know that the most important relationship that you will ever have is the one with yourself, and with that I totally agree. So let this year, the year of 2021, be the year that I throw this idea of not knowing me to the trash. This year is going to be the year that I am introduced to the most fun, energetic, creative, strong, and independent woman.
That woman will be me. That woman will be proud to be me. That woman will not let anyone or anything get in the way of her discovery. That woman is on a journey—a journey that only she will ever understand. That woman is going to do great things and shine like she has never shined before.
And that woman is going to be just fine.
So, I know that I won’t be alone in this. I am sure that there are many other girls experiencing the same feelings and looking for the same awakening. Let 2021 be your year too. Let it be a time where you dig deep and make yourself unique. The world already has enough of everybody else—let the world see you. Bring it something different and exciting and make your life meaningful. You are special, we all are special, we just need to find that spark to make us shine.