9 Things I Want My Future Daughter To Know
By Taylah Hili
Dear future daughter,
Growing up in this great big world, as beautiful as it is, also comes with a lot of difficulties and tough lessons that you will be faced with. Although most life’s lessons will need to be experienced and learned in your own time, sometimes you will need to be reminded of a few things to ensure you are staying true to yourself during these experiences. Here are some things to keep in mind.
1. It is okay to compare yourself to others, just don’t destroy yourself over it.
With the influence of social media, it is almost second nature to compare yourself to every other girl you see. You will compare your body, looks, and persona, and often it will leave you feeling down. It is easy to invite heavy and negative thoughts into your brain while doing so, because as you compare yourself to that Instagram model, you don’t notice the beautiful things about you that everybody sees. It is important to have balance in your life. Everybody has things about them they don’t like, and that is okay. Notice them, think about healthy ways of improving them, and then take action. Do not allow yourself to get caught up in a black cloud of emotions. You are beautiful in every way, every single day. Remember that even that girl has insecurities. It’s about embracing them, knowing your worth, and appreciating your inner and outer beauty.
2. Always trust your instincts and follow your gut.
Throughout life, you will come across hundreds of people. Some will bring you happiness, some will inflict pain, and some will teach you lessons. Each person will stand in front of you with a purpose, and ultimately, how this purpose affects your life is up to you. You will admire some people and you will see others as an example of who you don’t want to become. It is your job to listen to your gut instinct and use that to guide your choices and relationships. You are wise, and you know right from wrong. You know who you are, and you can sense when something is not right. Do not doubt yourself and always follow your heart. You are the strongest person you will ever know, you just need to believe and have faith in yourself. You got this, girl.
3. It is okay to get hurt and feel vulnerable.
Unfortunately, in life, we are all going to experience pain in relationships. We are all going to fall in love and have our heart broken. At the time, it will feel like the worst thing in the world. You will not see a future past the pain, and you will feel helpless and insecure. I can guarantee you, honey, that this doesn’t last forever, and it is okay to feel this way. One awful experience doesn’t mean all future experiences will be bad. As strong as you are, you do not always need to hide your weaknesses. These weaknesses make you who you are; your identity does not truly rely on the strength you show to the world. Although being strong is important sometimes, it is also important to acknowledge feelings of pain when they are present. Being vulnerable allows us to develop deeper connections with people, which makes our lives more meaningful and full of love. It’s not about being unbreakable, it’s about being real.
4. You won’t always get it right, but when you do, it will be amazing.
As much as we strive to be perfect and live an ideal life, the road isn’t always going to be smooth. We all make mistakes, some worse than others, and we won’t always meet expectations, but what you need to understand is that you need to be kind to yourself in these moments. You are human, and achieving your dreams will take effort, determination, and a strong mindset. You will get knocked down a few times, but you always have the strength to get back up. The belief you have in yourself will outshine all of life’s inconveniences, and you will achieve whatever you set your mind to. That satisfaction will be worth all the hard work, I promise.
5. Life doesn’t have a timeline. You need not do anything by a certain age.
As you grow older, you may feel a pressure to do things in a certain way or by a particular age. Society may make you feel like there are things you need to achieve to be doing life the “right” way, but life does not come with a rule book. There is no timeline that we must follow. The only thing you should ever follow is your heart. Do things when the timing feels right for you. Never pressure yourself to meet expectations that surround you. It is your life, and you are the captain of the ship; the people who love and care about you will support whatever you do whenever you do it.
6. You may find that loving yourself will sometimes be hard, but not loving yourself is even harder.
Sometimes it may seem easy to look at yourself in the mirror and point out 100 things that are “wrong” with you. It will seem easy to generate negative thoughts and emotions about your body, but every time you acknowledge and allow these thoughts to circulate, you are slowly tearing yourself down. When we do not show love and appreciation for ourselves, we end up running ourselves down. The more positivity and love we breathe into our body, the happier we become. Kindness goes a long way, especially when we share it internally. It is about reminding yourself of your worth and making sure you never forget how special you are.
7. Surrounding yourself with the right people will be life’s greatest investment.
They say that the people you surround yourself with reflect you as a person. You should allow yourself to be open to real and genuine friendships and be wise enough to walk away from those who do not contribute positively to your life. Develop friendships from all areas and interests of your life and always show kindness. Having a positive group of friends will make life so much easier and more meaningful. Have friends you can always count on, friends to share amazing memories with, and friends who will support you in all you set out to achieve. Friendship is one of the most important aspects of life—cherish all the beautiful people you share your life with and hold them close to your heart. I like to think your friends are the family you choose, so choose lovingly and with an open heart.
8. You can be a strong woman, but you don’t have to be rude.
It is important to be strong and stand up for yourself, but this does not give you the freedom to become a bitch. You can express yourself without putting other people down. You are allowed to walk away from things and turn your back on people who do you wrong, but you can do it respectfully. You can make decisions and follow your heart without losing your integrity. Like I said, kindness is important and goes a long way—don’t lose sight of what is important because you want to be perceived as “strong”. Everybody has feelings, and you need to be mindful of this. You need not tear someone else down in order for you to rise higher; be mindful of this as you chase your dreams. Never lose sight of your beautiful personality and morals in your journey through life.
9. You are your own number one.
Life is a roller coaster with many difficulties. It is important to have faith in yourself and always treat yourself as a priority. You cannot always count on other people, therefore it is important to build yourself up, to always depend on yourself. Do not hold back on things because of other people and what they have to say. It may take some time, but gaining the feeling of being able to feel confident in your decisions and put yourself first while making them will get you further in life. It is easy to underestimate your strength. Always remember you can do whatever you want in this lifetime. Like my mother says, the world is your oyster, so dream big and chase your desires. Life is more enjoyable when you feel confident in yourself.
Always remember that the world is yours and all you will ever need will always lie within. Appreciate yourself and absorb all the world has to offer.