He was handsome to look at. He sits down and you realize he is more than a pretty face. He has a personality and a sense of humor that you can ride along. You hang out as friends, in groups that are larger or smaller. You also tag along to a solo hangout and have some amounts of fun. You feel your heart race every time he’s around. You know there is nothing you would not do to make him happy. Your face lights up, your soul takes flight, and somehow, you know you are in love with this person. You take the pains to respond to his every message, call, and gesture, at the earliest, and as best as you can. You’ll change your sleeping patterns or meal patterns or everything in your routine, just to have that extra time or to linger in that extra thought of him. And oh, you will think about him every waking (and sometimes dreaming!) instant.
And then he tells you, he is not into you. He wants you as a friend and nothing more. You loved him, but unrequited love never grows. Now is the time to let him go and dispel the future of togetherness you created. It’s never easy but here are some remedies that worked for me:
1. Put some distance in between- both physical and emotional. Can you move to some place else for a few days? Can you not see him for a few days?
Unhook the social media tabs. Yes, you want to know he’s doing okay and trust me, he will be okay. Lapses of silence or disconnect are common even between friends and right now, you both need the space. Do not jump on maintaining the friendship unless you can be sure you can respect what this relationship is now.
2. Distract those unceasing thoughts of him. This is the hardest part. Occupy yourself with work or hobbies or topics of interest that subdue the constant thoughts surrounding him. Do something that excites you every day, in the most positive manner. Dispel some of that unrequited love to all the other people who love you in other ways- family, friends, pets, neighbors, strangers.
3. Go on a trip! This is the best advice but it also needs to be handled cautiously. Go somewhere unfamiliar but safe, some place you can explore on your own or in a smaller group of friends, some place that offers harmony in its milieu. The best thing would be to go where you can be grateful for being alive and accepting that He has better plans for you.
4. Talk to people. Even if you don’t want to talk about what exactly happened or who he was, talk to people about relationships, experiences and personal growth. You’ll be surprised, intrigued and inspired by how people grow and come out of their shells.
5. Let him go. Be grateful. He was a prequel to the main story. I am sure you learned a few things about yourself that no other person could have offered. You are changed by how he touched you, but you are even more beautiful in your resilience to not give up. To prepare for the next best adventure, it is essential to change directions and leave him at the last stop.