For those of you who want to give up…
Don’t. It’s as simple and as complicated as that.
I know that the pain is deep right now and you feel like you can’t go another day, but let me tell you something…you can. You see, the crazy thing about life is that there are all these things we don’t think we’re going to survive. BUT THEN WE DO.
The pain may last a day or a month or a year, but we survive. And let me remind you something. Those thoughts in your head that are telling you to give up? That it’s not worth it? That you’re not important? LIES. I know this because I’ve been there.
I’ve laid in bed at 3 AM being tortured by my thoughts. I know how it feels to be in a dark place, to feel like it’s never going to end, that life is never going to get better. I’ve wanted to give up on life before. I’ve wanted to make the pain end. But something has kept me going day after day. Something has made me stay. Find that something in you.
You’re a fighter, you’re a conqueror, you are a warrior. And warriors don’t give up. Oh, and one more thing: don’t you dare take this out on your body. I’ve been down that road and it’s a dark and scary path. Self-harm? Eating disorders? Numbing the pain with drugs/alcohol? It doesn’t help. It will only bring you deeper into the dark. Your body did nothing wrong so do not, I repeat DO NOT, punish it.
For those of you who are heartbroken over someone…
It’s real, it’s hard, it’s a process. Yet, the world tells us that a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and a chick flick will make it go away. We’re told to “get over it”, that he/she “isn’t worth it”, oh and my personal favorite…”There are other fish in the sea.”
I don’t think there has been one instance in the history of the world where someone has felt better after hearing that statement. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: don’t ever say that. It doesn’t help, it minimizes the pain, and quite frankly, it’s annoying. Because you know what? Maybe that person wasn’t just a fish; maybe they were your sea. Your world. Your everything. And now here you are, trying to figure out how to go through life without them.
Looking through old pictures, old messages, wishing things could go back to the way they were.
Thinking and rethinking and overthinking and thinking some more about what went wrong. Late nights, blank stares, and tear stained cheeks. Battling whether you should remember or forget the memories, keep or delete the pictures, hate or love them for what they did. It’s normal, darling. It’s normal. What most people don’t understand is that heartbreak is a loss just like any other type of loss.
It’s a grieving process. So let yourself grieve, let yourself feel, let yourself cry. I’m not going to tell you that it’s going to be easy, to find someone new, that time will make it better. But I will tell you one thing: if you are meant to be together, you will end up together. That’s just how it goes.
God has already got it all figured out so just trust in the process.
If this person really is your soulmate, your one and only, your sea and not just your fish, you will be together in the end.
For those of you who are CONFUSED…
For those of you who don’t know what to do, who feel like they’re not where they thought they would be in life, who are torn between a decision…can I tell you a secret? Everyone else is just as confused as you are. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. Slightly comforting, huh?
Life, unfortunately, does not come with an instruction manual (although there are times when I really think I would benefit from a “Life for Dummies” book). So that leaves us all trying to figure it out on our own. Yes, some people may seem like they have got it all together, but let me tell ya…I bet they were just as confused as you are at some point. Life is about trial and error. You live and you learn and you keep going.
You try new things and sometimes you succeed and sometimes you fail but you keep on trying. Yes, I know you’re confused. You don’t know what to do. You feel like life is pulling you in 93438 directions. Or maybe that’s just me? I’m 21 and most times, I feel like a lost dog. There are so many things I want to do with my life, but I don’t know where to start. I’m confused about the people in my life, the purpose of my life, the “WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING” part of life.
I’m overwhelmed with confusion and decisions and choices that could determine my future. But when I start to feel this way, I take a step back and remind myself that the confusion is in my head. Our minds like to make things more complicated than they really are. Most of the time you have 2 options: yes or no, do it or don’t do it, stay together or break up. Your head will overthink and complicate it, but your heart? It knows. Deep down, you know what you’re supposed to do. So do it.
And last but certainly not least….for those of you who are HAPPY…
Well hello my little rays of sunshine! Life is pretty good now, huh? You can’t really relate to all of those sad things I just talked about above, could ya? Well, let me tell you, that makes me happy. I am thrilled that you are doing okay, that you are in a good place today. But do me a favor, would ya? Remember this moment. Remember what it’s like to feel happy, to feel content, to feel alive.
Because I’m not trying to be a Debby Downer, but there will probably come a day when you can relate to the things above.
You’ll want to give up, you’ll find yourself heartbroken, you’ll be confused over one thing or another.
And in that moment, I want you to remember THIS moment. I want you to remember that yes, you can be happy.
Yes, things will get better.
Yes, you are capable of living a life of joy.
But in the meantime, bask in your happiness like it’s the sun on a hot summer day.
Smile and dance and spread your happiness everywhere you go and with everyone you meet. Your happy self is your best self so let yourself shine. Let yourself be carefree.
Let yourself be happy.