1. “I may or may not have ripped the speakers I bought him for Valentine’s Day out of his wall. I regretted it for a second, but like… now I have a dope new pair of speakers.”
— Juliana, 21
2. “I keyed his brand new BMW. I was in high school and we were both fucking nuts. He paid for it. He was like, ‘you right, you right…’”
— Kira, 23
3. “After I found out he cheated on me with his ex, I stripped his bed and threw the sheets I bought him in the middle of street. I’d bet anything his sorry ass slept on a bare mattress for a week.”
— Winona, 25
4. “Told him I was gonna fuck his brother. Hahahaha.”
— Michelle, 22
5. “I sent his mom a lengthy email detailing what a consummate douchebag she’d raised. Included some intriguing details about his coke habit. Oops!”
— Vanessa, 23
6. “Complicated story. Rest assured, I told him he’d find his belongings scattered all over Midtown.”
— Qiana, 27
7. “He cheated on me with two different girls from my sorority, so I slept with his roommate in his bed, filmed part of it from the neck down, and sent him the video.”
— Elise, 24
8. “Oh, LET ME TELL YOU. After supporting him (and his kids) financially for years, my 40-year-old leech of a boyfriend announced that he’d met a younger woman on some idiotic app called Yerdle and that he was moving to Long Island to be with her, conveniently right after I’d switched to a lower-paying job. I punched him in the face. No regrets. Dude is still unemployed, and his Yerdle boo now supports him.”
— Kirsten, 32
9. “He told me I’d live a boring life and that his would be filled with passion and art and meaning. I told him I hoped he’d find all those things and fucking choke on them.”
— Genie, 26
10. “I burned all the t-shirts, sweatshirts, etc. he’d given me during our relationship. Posted vids of the bonfire on my snap story. Very dramatic. Don’t think he expected anything less.”
— Belle, 21
11. “I included a bill for the blood test I had just done to confirm that I was not, in fact, pregnant in the box with all of his stuff when I went to go drop it off at his place. I knew he wouldn’t pay it, but I just wanted to be brat.”
— Carrie, 25
12. “Despite his several follow-up phone calls and texts, I simply didn’t respond to a breakup email. Because, I mean, it was a BREAKUP EMAIL.”
— Jo, 27
13. “I was breaking up with my first *real* boyfriend over the phone and in the middle of all the crying he excused himself for a minute. He came back and said ‘I just threw up. That’s how sad I am.’ I really wanted to be sympathetic—I felt terrible, he sounded like Anne Hathaway when she was hyperventilating through ‘I Had A Dream’ in Les Mis, but all I could say was, ‘Ew, that’s so gross.’ Then I hung up.”
— Gemma, 24 
