18 Women On How They Really Feel About Men Watching Porn

via Flickr - Helga Weber
via Flickr – Helga Weber

1. “The dude I’m with wouldn’t watch (much) porn. I think a lot of guys watch porn because they want the fantasy of being wanted the way the women pretend to want the dudes in porn. Except I actually really do want my dude that badly. It’s about desire, you know? All the same, don’t try that porn shit on me in the bedroom. I am a real person.”

—Sophia, 25

beetlejuice

2. “My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn (so I don’t really have any thoughts on that) but I’m assuming no one would ever believe that. It wasn’t at my own request or from some desire to lie to impress me, because I never gave an opinion on it. He’s just a very emotional person when it comes to intimacy, so porn doesn’t do it for him.”

—Isabel, 23

beetlejuice

3. “I’m totally fine with it unless it’s a real problem. I’ve never experienced this but I’ve read horror stories about guys who started preferring porn to their girlfriend or wife. Again, I see no real problem with doing it occasionally.”

—Sara, 24

beetlejuice

4. “I think that most guys these days learn how to have sex from porn rather than fumbling through the awkwardness of losing your virginity. It’s like they store up these ‘go to’ moves in their heads. This is a problem for me and, especially when I was younger, I really didn’t like sex because the few guys I’d done it with had sex like they’d seen in porn and it was awful. So, on those grounds alone I’m not a fan of porn. It’s like, dudes, don’t you know this is screwing you up?”

—Amelia, 29

beetlejuice

5. “I don’t really see it as anything but fantasy and so it doesn’t really bother me. Plus, he doesn’t rub my face in it. I even look myself sometimes but since it’s fantasy I don’t think it would bother him either.”

—Mia, 22

beetlejuice

6. “I’ll never understand why this bothers people. I say go nuts, scout the good stuff and gather new ideas to keep things fresh. Unless they’re actually participating in the making of the porn it’s just another movie as far as I’m concerned.”

—Hannah, 21

beetlejuice

7. “Eh, completely indifferent. Like, I’m not going to wildly encourage it, but I’m also not going to be pissed if I catch him watching it/know he’s watching it. Would be interested to know WHAT KIND of porn he’s watching though (not that it sways my opinion in any way).”

—Clair, 25

beetlejuice

8. “My husband absolutely will not admit to watching porn and it’s hilarious because you can tell by the look on his face that he totally does and is embarrassed. It’s not a big deal to me but it’s funny that he won’t even talk about it like it’s some super private secret stuff. All girls know that dudes look at porn. We just pretend we don’t know.”

—Ariel, 28

beetlejuice

9. “Not a huge fan of porn but that’s probably my experience talking. My first real introduction into the world of a guy watching porn was a shitty relationship I had in my early 20s where the guy suggested we watch it while having sex. Well, it turns out that he literally could not get aroused in the same way if porn wasn’t on. It’s been kind of hard to be cool with it since then. I know other girls are cool with it or accept it but I’m just not a fan.”

—Hailey, 27

beetlejuice

10. “I don’t judge it but I find it a little weird that guys apparently need to watch porn to get turned on and jerk off. I mean, what did guys do before the internet? It’s not like they didn’t jerk off. It just seems a little odd to me for some reason. I don’t know. I guess it’s fine.”

—Josie, 24

beetlejuice

11. “My boyfriend and I watch porn together sometimes. It’s literally not a thing at all. We’re both very sexual people and I watch it by myself sometimes. If anything it has a good impact on our relationship because it’s something we use to enhance our pleasure.”

—Riley, 20

beetlejuice

12. “It’s only a big deal if it affects the relationship. I did date one guy who I felt looked at porn too often because whenever it came up in conversation he sort of started acting secretive about it. I don’t know if he was just ashamed or what but it worried me. We also didn’t have sex very often.”

—Kaylee, 25

beetlejuice

13. “I know people won’t believe this but my boyfriend doesn’t look at porn and says he’s never even really been very interested in it since he was young. We live together and so I know what I’m talking about. It wouldn’t bother me particularly if he did though.”

—Meredith, 23

beetlejuice

14. “I think a lot of girls are caught up in the competition aspect of porn like they think they’re being compared to the girls on the screen. My feeling is that if this is really the case then your relationship is already in a lot of trouble. Most of the time I think girls are just insecure. I don’t have a problem with it, personally but I know a lot of people that do.”

—Lucy, 28

beetlejuice

15. “I don’t make him feel bad about my own fantasies and he doesn’t make me feel bad about mine. It’s called respect. Some people should grow up and look into it.”

—Keira, 22

beetlejuice

16. “I think it’s totally normal. I sometimes do it, why shouldn’t he be allowed to? As long as he’s not getting um, satisfaction, from other women, it’s fine by me.”

—Gina, 24

beetlejuice

17. “Overall, college sex was pretty bad until my senior year and I do sort of blame porn for that as well as a basic grasp of sex education. A lot of times I felt like the guy I was with was having sex at me instead of with me. That made for a lot of bad sex and a lot of ‘why aren’t you enjoying this/it must be your problem’ questions from some boyfriends.”

—Cindy, 23

beetlejuice

18. “I get why guys like porn. I like porn too but if you remember that these are actually people you’re watching and not cartoon characters then I think the whole thing is kind of sad. I’m sure that some people in porn have happy lives but it seems like the majority just don’t. As a result, I don’t watch it and I’m skeptical of guys who defend it.”

—Lauren, 25 TC mark

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    Love that women are being honest here about the porn issue.

    There IS a lot to consider… and I hate when women bash other women, this woman vs. woman bullshit… Women should be supporting each other, including when it come to having a healthy, equally beneficial sex.

    Porn can also actually be very problematic. I watch it occasionally and am let down well over half the time. (1) Most women in porn are faking orgasms. This creates false expectations and trains many men to become terrible lovers (2) How many times do we see women getting off on oral in porn? –Be honest– But sure.. there are BJs o’plenty. Most porn is generally designed from and for the male POV, to get men off, not women (3) Many men become addicted and begin to prefer using/imagining the porn girls over their actual lovers in real time.

    I’ve always been a very sexual person but I’ve had some lovers who could hardly get off without porn. For a few it had caused self-loathing and they admitted to always having better sex while stroking it to an on-screen girl who seemed to be ALL about getting a man off while getting off IMMEDIATELY on que. Right. Because she’s ACTING, which most men don’t seem to realize or care about. She’s faking it, which greatly devalues the act entirely. And yet, they don’t care. Get it?

    Fake. And they don’t care. Which is really sad.

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