1. You can always tell which farts are her farts.
If it smelt like ramen and jellybeans, you know exactly who dealt it.
2. You’ve had serious discussions re: how you’d help each other get away with murder.
Stolen jet skis, Mexico, and new identities for the both of you would have to be involved.
3. You can tell her all the freaky shit you can’t tell your shrink.
Like how you achieved touchless orgasm by imagining yourself famous.
4. Because unlike your shrink, she’ll never judge.
She already knows you’re a batshit crazy narcissist. That’s why she loves u.
5. Your menstrual cycles are in perfect harmony.
Cuz best friends who ovulate together, stay together. It’s science.
6. Speaking of ovulation, you seriously plan to get pregnant at the same time.
I mean…if you’re not already making arrangements for your future kids’ best friendship, WTF r u doing…?
7. She’s the first person you contact when your poop looks weird.
Who needs a doctor when you have her to remind you that you just don’t eat enough leafy greens?
8. You have fake fights just to spice things up.
…Like that one time you hung up on her for not being happy enough for u when you got “Beyoncé” on that one Buzzfeed quiz.
9. You get legitimately upset when you remember you’ll never get to meet her in baby form.
If a genie granted you a single wish, it’d def be that you and your BFF get to hang out in ur baby bodies with ur adult minds. Would be fucking UNREAL.
10. She poses a legitimate threat to any significant others.
…Because she’s ur significant other.
11. …Which is why ur man doesn’t laugh when you “joke” about what great porn you and she would make together.
He has just reason to be intimidated/concerned.
12. You think about what you’d say for her eulogy.
It’d be equal parts heartbreaking and hysterical, cuz she wouldn’t have it any other way.
13. …And legitimately start bawling every time.
(And call her immediately to make sure she’s alive.)
14. You have an uncontrollable, visceral reaction to anyone calling her THEIR best friend.
You know they’re just TOTALLY FUCKING DELUSIONAL, but that doesn’t stop both your eyes from violently twitching.
15. You accidentally coordinate outfits at least once a week.
Your other friends don’t believe you when you swear you don’t do it on purpose, and that’s probably cuz you do do it on purpose…when you meet up to discuss outfits in ur dreams.
16. She hates your ex more than you hate your ex.
Cuz would she really be your best friend if she didn’t?