Have you ever experienced an altered state of consciousness from kissing? By “conscious kissing” you can drift into a different, blissful and relaxed state, somewhat similar to being high, but without the accompanying hunger/paranoia or crappy comedown.
I first experienced conscious kissing a few years ago. I noticed that when I was kissing my lover goodbye and I wasn’t in a rush to leave I would find myself light headed and in a mild state of delirium after our kissing. My lover said he felt the same. I once had to wait half an hour before I felt like it was safe for me to drive my car, such was the effect it had on me. We both thought this was just something that happened but we didn’t think much about why it was happening.
One day we went to a city for a day trip and we stopped at a fabulous restaurant for lunch. My lover suggested that we eat our food consciously, slowly savoring every bite. It was one of the most amazing meals I’ve ever had. We were both in our own world while eating, concentrating solely on the experience of eating and drinking and making it as slow and conscious as we could.
I’ve no doubt the other people in the restaurant thought we were odd as fuck. The staff seemed to be completely baffled by us. When they came to take plates away or ask us questions we were in such a slowed-down space that it took us a lot longer to engage with them, then we looked the person in the eye, connected with them and slowly responded.
It took us about an hour to eat out meal and when we got up to leave we were both a bit light headed. We stopped outside the restaurant to kiss. We kissed slowly, it was the most conscious kiss I have ever experienced. After the kiss, I felt like I was floating. I felt connected to my lover, connected to myself and connected to the world and all the beautiful people in it. We walked along hand in hand for a bit, stepping slowly. Everything seemed more bright and colorful and it was as if I could see the rich lives of all the people I saw on the street furled out around them. They all seemed so beautiful to me.
I also felt like I didn’t belong in the world yet like I was going to float away. I suggested we stop at a bookshop/cafe and have a cup of tea thinking that the tea would ground us a bit. I was a bit more spacey than my lover so he braved the line for tea. When he came back and bought the tea over I picked up the cup. It was warm from just coming out of the dishwasher. I rubbed it on my face gently, it felt beautiful. I felt connected to the cup. I became aware of others staring at me so I put the cup down. I felt I needed the toilet so I walked in a daze to the the toilets. There were big beautiful posters in the toilets. One was on the back of the toilet door and I spent a long time staring at it, admiring it. I felt like I had fallen into and in love with the poster. I don’t know how long I stayed in there for, staring at the poster but it was a good while I think.
When I came out I realised I’d left my handbag behind and I’d left in in a very easy to steal place. This is very unlike me as I’m always very aware of the safety of my belongings. I was loving being in the altered state but also aware that it made me very vulnerable. I had to work hard to ground myself enough to be more in reality. It took about 5 hours to come back to “normal”.
Since then I have entered the altered state through kissing many times. I do this by slowing down and being more conscious of and connected to my body and my lovers when I’m kissing him. I have never gone as deep as I did that day in the city, mainly because while I enjoyed it a lot it left me almost unsafe, so a city wasn’t the place to be at getting high from kissing. I haven’t tried this with anyone other than my lover, but I suspect that the same effect could occur were I to kiss someone I liked a lot and trusted deeply — as in, I don’t think it’s about sex, or even attraction necessarily, I think it’s about consciousness.
So, to try this at home, sit and relax somewhere that you won’t be distracted. Look your (fully consensual) kissing partner in the eye, softly and gently. Really see them. Slow down your breathing, make it as slow and steady and calm as you can. Take a good 10 minutes to just be. To feel into your body and the presence of the other person. When you are ready very very slowly begin to touch the palm of your hand with your finger. Touch your hand slowly softly and gently until you are giving yourself a pleasurable feeling.
Take your partner’s hand and do the same to them. Then have them do that for you. Move close enough to kiss then very very slowly touch each other with your lips. Be as slow and as sensuous as you can. Make it about you in your head, forget about any feeling or desire to please the other person. Think about what feels good for you in this kiss. Try and just “be” in the moment rather than making things happen. Go with the soft, slow and gentle flow of the kiss. Take as long as you both want with it. If you take a break try and remain touching, softly slowly and gently. You will feel yourself getting floaty as your consciousness alters.
Go forth and kiss!