9 Women Reveal The Wildest Thing A Guy Has Ever Said To Them After Sex

The after sex haze is a loopy space. Imagine Bruce Banner after he just shrank down from the Hulk. It’s a little like that. You’re mildly confused, your pants are in tatters, and you’ve leveled a city. Your mind is so soft and defenseless that you might say something stupid. At least I might. According to the following women, I’m not the only guy who’s a bit of an idiot after a good orgasm.

1. “This was a few years ago and we ran in the same circles. He was cute, so after a night out I went over to his place. I should have known he was a virgin when he said, ‘So, this is really happening, huh?’ It wasn’t until we were done and he said, ‘That was a wet, warm rollercoaster,’ that I knew. — Dani, 24

2. “My first time, once we were finished, the dude pulled off the condom and instructed me on how to tell if the condom was broken. He started by presenting the used condom and said, “This, is a condom.” — Sara, 23

3. “His nickname for me was Piggy because of the children’s toy, Olivia the Pig. Once after he finished, he rolled over and said, ‘That’ll do, pig.’” — Olivia, 22

4. “It wasn’t that weird, but he immediately offered me pineapple. There wasn’t a moment of silence, he pulled out and said, ‘I got pineapple, do you want some pineapple? I think I’m gonna have some pineapple.’” — Riley, 26

5. “Everyone was super drunk and we started fooling around in the room with people there. It was funny all around and when we were done, he said, ‘Now, let’s see what the judges have to say,’ and they pretended to hold up score cards.” — Amanda, 22

6. “I still lived with my mom at the time and he came over for a quickie before she got back from work. After he finished, he pulled on his pants really fast and said, ‘Your mom has been downstairs for like ten minutes, by the way.’ She never commented on it so I still don’t know if she heard anything..” — Miranda, 21

7. “For the longest time, I thought he was kidding but every time we were done, he’d say, ‘Please have my children,’ and I’d laugh it off. Our thing sorta fizzled out and he met some new girl. A year later she was pregnant. Yikes.” — Lauren, 19

8. “He wanted to try pegging and I’m always down for a new adventure. While I was giving it to him with a strap on, I jerked him off and he finished. Afterward, he said, ‘Now that I think about it, I don’t think that’s for me. Thank you, though,’ and dumped everything in the trash.” — Liz, 24

9. “In college I wasn’t always responsible, and by that I mean I didn’t always use condoms. I made them pull out. So, once I was hooking up with this guy at a party and he pulled out and finished on my stomach. He collapsed next to me and said, ‘I have no idea how you’re not pregnant. For a second in there I honestly thought having kids might not be so bad.’ We ended up dating for three years.” — Kim, 25 Thought Catalog Logo Mark


More From Thought Catalog