For Once, This Love Letter Isn’t For You

My love,

I thank you for giving me a reason to write these words down to make sense of how I feel—to allow them a proper space to breathe, to grant me a safe place to heal, and to capture the wild truth that breaks through my unconditional love for you.

I now know that if I don’t let my bare thoughts gasp for air, it just outright couldn’t be and wouldn’t be fair. Why? Because they deserve all the respect in the world, as much as do I.

The words that I share with you do not begin on the superficial surface of my hand nor end on the tiny tip of my tongue. No. I believe they were birthed from an untamed place deep inside, slowly awakened and given sense by the warm force nestled beneath my chest to uncover a wisdom so bona fide.

I know, because of you, that a love will always evolve as long as I shall feel. But in this moment, my heart inside my soul has got a lot to say, a story to tell, and new horizons to reveal. And now I’m here to follow the beaten path she has laid out and face what I’ve always been too hesitant to confront.

I write these words to you, not for the wishful intent of living a storybook “cliché”, but for the sheer efforts of embracing my once-mission impossible.

I write these words for no other reason but to hold myself accountable.

I write these words to allow my limiting conversation within to transform into the true healing I know I deserve to expand.

I write these words to witness my sincerity, naked and in the flesh, firsthand.

I write these words to lend my once-silenced and fragile heart a voice.

I write these words to you for the sake of honoring the deepest emotion l’ve ever felt—one that I have captured for another soul since opening the abandoned window of a long lost self-love.

I write this to you to lift the emotional weight of my words off my rapidly beating heart, remembering that if I don’t give them a space, they shall only persist by anchoring my scars and drowning me in a sea of false facade.

I write this to you because my heart has reminded me that I should never feel I have to hide anything from anyone for the sake of respecting who I’m meant to be.

I write this to thank you for being a man like you that sees all the woman of me.

I write this to you because if I didn’t, I would be ignoring the flawless vulnerability that fuels my transformative power within.

I write this to you because I’ve now found the art of expressing an unspoken wisdom and unearthed the sketched beauty of existing in my own skin.

I write this to you to recognize a presence like yours has dissolved my worn-out patterns—those I would often dress in to hide.

I write this to you to heal the masculine wounds that simmer beneath my cellular sheath and so anxiously bubble inside.

With my deep love that’s bloomed, I feel more alive than I’ve ever been now. Because, in the free fall of my heart, you have truly shown me how.

I write these words for you, but really, I write them to acknowledge my truth and for the purpose of setting myself free.

For the first time, I tune in to hear my beautiful heart whisper, “I can say I love you and mean it because I finally love me.”

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