Some days, I entirely believe my husband should win a “Sexiest Spouse of the Year” award. Men should grovel at his feet, beg to know just a fraction of his great wisdom. He should teach classes like “Seducing a Grown Woman” and “How to Clean Your Way into Her Pants” to packed audiences.
Other days, I think, If he crop dusts me one more time, my lady bits are going to walk out of here and never come back.
We sometimes really hit the spot for our partners, and other times, we suck. This is the nature of every romantic relationship: valleys and peaks.
In 2020, some things are just sexier than others to today’s woman. Here they are in no certain order:
Here’s a brief history lesson.
Women have only had the right to vote in the U.S. for 100 years.
But if you’re a white dude, you’ve had that privilege for 244 years.
Let that sink in a minute. 244–100=144.
You’ve had the privilege to vote for 144 MORE years than ALL women. (If you’re an African-American man, you’ve only had the right for 50 more years, and if you’re Native American, then -4.)
Women had to fight for the right to vote. We had to contradict insane rhetoric at the time that assumed we had “inferior brains” and that participating in politics, and thus, thinking (gasp!), would make our ovaries atrophy or our periods worsen, or, if we were pregnant, spoil the children within our wombs.
When you, Mr. Man, show up to vote, when you do your civic duty and get your “I voted!” sticker, you’re showing that you value and understand the privileges you have in this life.
Don’t ever take something for granted that women fought so hard for.
You may not remember this Super Bowl ad from 2017, but I do.
It’s not new that heterosexual women today still handle a majority of the household chores. Modern life is expensive, and according to data from April 2020, 64.2% of families have two working parents.
You know why? Because women in those kinds of relationships have more energy for sex.
A woman cannot be expected to work a full-time job, take on the majority of domestic duties, and have energy left over for sex with her partner. That’s not only rarely possible, but delusional.
So, scrub some dishes, sweep or mop the floors, gentlemen. It’s hot.
Side note: Do these without announcing it. You should be helping out your partner. You don’t get special brownie points for doing something you should have already been doing.
3. Be the mom sometimes.
Similar to #2, but somewhat different.
First off, you and your lady may not have children, and that’s okay. Sub anything in place of children that your partner normally takes care of. You might: take the pet to the vet, cut the pet’s nails, cook, pay some bills, etc.
When it comes to parenting, my children always go to me first for everything. I’m the mother. I kiss and blow on booboos. I always make their sandwiches right, and I’m the one they prefer to bathe and read them stories before bed.
My husband is a fantastic father. It doesn’t matter. Their preference is me every time.
They could be sitting next to my husband watching TV, decide they want their stuffed pet T-rex, get up, and roam the house, calling my name until they find me to ask where it is.
Many families are like this, which is why you, the father (or partner), have to be the one to take initiative. Tell the kids, “I’m putting you to bed tonight,” and don’t give into any plaintive whining.
You may also need to assert it with the “mom” too. “You go rest, honey. I’m taking Berkeley to get his anal glands expressed this afternoon.”
4. Remember things.
How does she like her coffee or tea? When’s her birthday? When she’s had a bad day, does she want to be left alone or for you to cuddle her? How does she like to exercise?
These may seem small and inconsequential, but they matter.
You want your partner to know as much about you as you them.
Think of it as if you’re working on an encyclopedia of them. What would be important? What wouldn’t be?
There’s nothing sexier than my husband plugging my phone into a charger because he knows I never pay attention until it’s too late.
Currently, girls and women read more than boys and men.
If you don’t already read, you should start. Immediately. If there’s anything the hotdudesreading Instagram page has taught us, it’s that 1.3 MILLION people think that guys who read are hot. Like……really hot.
John Waters, author of Role Models, said it best (and I know many women who would agree),
“If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ‘em!”
To avoid women leaving you because of your lack of reading, START READING.
I’ve been told before, “The only thing a woman needs to do to be sexy is take off her clothes.” While that might work for you, women need some other things. Men require just visual stimuli while women like a nice mix of visual and relational stimuli to get all hot and bothered. Hit the woman you want to be sexy for on all her levels by voting, cleaning, momming, remembering, and reading.
This article was originally published on PS I Love You. Relationships Now.