— brit marling (@britmarling) March 20, 2009
Floating 80 ft high, at 2 mph, face up, eyes closed, head first, down 9th ave, from 66th to 46th, at 7PM, with no one expecting me anywhere.
— New York Tyrant (@nytyrant) July 10, 2011
dad said ‘you’re destined to live a life of loneliness’ to me and for once we agree about something
— jordan castro (@jordan_castro) July 27, 2011
i can hear girls a few rooms over strategizing about how to wear their hair for a competitive sub eating contest tonight
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) September 9, 2011
what if i was just some little mute dude looking confusedly around the room in the middle of china somewhere
— New York Tyrant (@nytyrant) November 16, 2011
sounds like my roommate just gave his girlfriend an orgasm. i’m reading a wikipedia article called ‘crab stick’ about imitation crab
— spencer madsen (@spencermadsen) December 11, 2011
a movie about a guy that makes a lot of friends then alienates all of them one by one as the years pass, called The Alienator.
— Noah Cicero (@noahcicero) February 4, 2012
want to read something that provides the same emotional texture as at age ~14 looking up the current value of comics & trading cards i own
— blake butler (@blakebutler) February 26, 2012
feeling very self-aware that i am wearing a shirt that says “AUTISM” while having a[n end of (?)] relationship discussion via text
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) February 28, 2012
imagined the winner of the 2012 nobel peace price being ‘anyone that has ever engaged in a political argument on facebook’
— muumuu interns (@muumuuinterns) March 2, 2012
bowl of ramen looks massive and unreal.
— joey buzz (@joeybuzzz) March 3, 2012
felt unable to not repeatedly think ‘what does “green day” even mean?’ while crying & telling my mom things i never thought i’d tell my mom
— jordan castro (@jordan_castro) April 2, 2012
Something I have been meaning to tweet: It must really suck to really suck at Parkour.
— st vincent (@st_vincent) June 8, 2012
HEEELP, I AM BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY MY OWN IDIOSYNCRATIC SENSIBILITY!!!!
— Elif Batuman (@BananaKarenina) June 9, 2012
i hate all.People incmudig thhe people i like
— blake butler (@blakebutler) June 10, 2012
feel like i’m in a lifetime movie about nothing
— joey buzz (@joeybuzzz) July 7, 2012
referred to myself drinking redbull as “taking redbull to the face” in my head
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) July 18, 2012
seems like believing that someone is doing something ‘wrong’ is like thinking that they are subjectively interpreting the world incorrectly
— muumuu interns (@muumuuinterns) August 29, 2012
made this account private because i didnt want to alienate people i know irl but then i remembered were all gonna die and i hate u bitches
— Mira Gonzalez (@miraunedited) October 9, 2012
just screamed ‘i’m in a honda civic’ while driving past group of 7-10 ppl standing outside a bar on mostly silent 14th street
— megan boyle unedited (@boyleunedited) October 22, 2012
science fiction novel in which justin bieber and ellen degeneres get cancer
— brandon gorrell (@brandongorrell) October 26, 2012
our inability to do simple things like free the horses from central park seems illustrative of how fucked we are
— willis plummer (@willisplummer) November 20, 2012
2012 has been hellish, for me
— Matthew Donahoo (@empathetichorse) December 25, 2012
dreamed my uncle emailed my cat asking if he could explain to him who NOFX & hitler are
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) January 3, 2013
Realized I was staring at guy’s head while using peripheral vision
— andrew_angry (@andrew__angry) January 7, 2013
textbook says difference between organisms and machines is machines have a purpose
— muumuu interns (@muumuuinterns) January 10, 2013
overheard girl on campus say “i can’t do anything about it now.. i guess i’ll name her ‘brogan'” regarding her pregnancy
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) February 5, 2013
Have they ever brought a bird to space?
— Andrew Weatherhead (@weeatherhead) February 6, 2013
sociology professor screamed “I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF! I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF! I’M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!” during her lecture today
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) February 12, 2013
As many of you know, today I added a ‘header’ to my Twitter account.
— mike vilensky (@mikevilensky) March 2, 2013
deleted my facebook then went back ~3m later to look at facebook forgetting i’d deleted it
— blake butler (@blakebutler) March 6, 2013
A man who’s played Warcraft the entire trip just asked me to “turn down the brightness” on my computer screen. He is sitting in front of me.
— Hamilton_Morris (@HamiltonMorris) March 31, 2013
Imagined myself saying ‘GET THAT TUNA FISH OUTTA HERE’ in a ‘coked up, Al-Pacino-like’ manner to the girl eating tuna in this coffee shop.
— Brad Listi (@BradListi) April 7, 2013
I’m going to eat whatever I need to eat in order to finish this book. Eating for 2: me + book
— Emily Gould (@EmilyGould) April 17, 2013
nursed myself back to sleep with carbs
— mallory whitten (@mallory_whitten) April 25, 2013
This post is part of Tao Lin Day. To read more posts in this series, click here.