I Livetweeted ‘The Great Gatsby’ 3D

10:04pm Similarities between The Great Gatsby & Taipei: 3rd novel, 29yr-old author, published 3yrs after 2nd novel

10:13pm Think I read Gatsby in 7th grade & the main point of the book, as it was taught, seemed to be that the eyeglass ad was a metaphor for eyes

10:45pm In elevator leaving apt, going to run to theatre, really don’t want to miss previews

10:52pm Livetweeting 11:30 showing instead of 10:50, currently in Fairway for caffeine

10:59pm Dreading this movie, I think…2hr 23min…wish it were [any fantasy movie]

11:07pm Standing outside theatre on sidewalk feeling grim

11:14pm Middle-aged guy ‘stared’ at me w a self-satisfied face as he passed on sidewalk & I said ‘what’ but I think he didn’t hear me, feeling grim

2 Guns

11:29pm Seems so insane pic.twitter.com/rCnoUttq8Q

11:38pm ‘Closer u are to death the more alive u feel’ – [person who played Thor] in a movie about Nascar, I think, ‘based on a true story’

11:39pm 3rd preview: Tom Hanks on a ship looking worried

11:43pm 4th preview: an Asian named ‘Chow’ has $19 million…The Hangover III…

11:46pm 5th preview: Jesse Eisenberg is a member of ‘the 4 horsemen’

11:51pm 7th preview: George Clooney is an astronaut, space shuttle explodes, ends showing an astronaut spinning out-of-control into space, lol…

11:54pm Someone is voice-overing the 1st lines of the book in a gollum-like voice…it’s the fucking guy from Spider-Man, lol

11:56pm It’s showing images of the 1920s to rap/dance music…it just did some fucked up things that seem insane

11:57pm It’s doing the stereotypical montage of a young man, like, ‘having it all’ in an urban area

11:59pm Keep thinking ‘omfg’ involuntarily…someone just nonsequiturly threw a blue football at Spider-Man then half-tackled him & disappeared

12:00am I think the guy who played Hemingway in the Woody Allen movie is playing the football guy in this movie

12:02am Carey Mulligan just said ‘we’ve got to beat them down’ about, I think, all non-Anglo Saxons

12:05am It segued to a different scene by ‘flying’ toward & thru ‘a green light’

12:11am It did a weird close-up (zooming in slowly) of Spider-Man looking like he was orgasming while falling asleep

12:14am A weird, orgy-like thing is happening to rap music & it showed a nonsequitur of a black man playing a trumpet, I think

12:16am A man slapped a woman & Spider-Man reacted by leaving the room to a balcony, then the camera zoomed away showing most of Manhattan

12:18am Everyone is partying…someone who looks like Marilyn Manson is shown playing piano while moving his head in a vaguely ‘head banging’ manner

12:19am Someone said Gatsby is ‘richer than God,’ now the Marilyn Manson guy is dancing to electronic (?) dance music

12:21am There’s like 10 main characters

12:29am Leonardo DiCaprio looks almost excruciatingly self-conscious of being in both this movie & Revolutionary Road

12:31am Leonardo DiCaprio is on 120mg Adderall rambling incoherently to Spider-Man while driving in an unnecessarily action-movie-like manner

12:34am I wonder how a writer wld convey ‘slow motion’ like this movie keeps doing…maybe w larger font or wider spacing between letters…

12:39am A woman who looks like Zooey Deschanel but isn’t…is suddenly talking to Spider-Man nonstop

12:41am It briefly did a Blair Witch Project technique (shaky camera) to show some guy walking into a forest, seemed like a nonsequitur detail

12:46am Some guy is named ‘Wolfshine’ (?)

12:46am I’m at ~15% battery & Mira’s charger won’t fit in my iPhone

12:47am Thought ‘say something u fucking shitheads…’ as camera repeatedly cut back-and-forth between DiCaprio & Mulligan

12:51am I honestly don’t know what the hell is happening, this really seems like a series of tonal/scenic nonsequiturs

12:53am I think a Lana Del Rey song is playing

12:56am DiCaprio is flirting w the girl by throwing 100+ shirts at her, now the girl’s crying because ‘I’ve never seen such beautiful shirts before

12:59am DiCaprio whispered menacingly into a phone & it showed his neck veins bulging

1:01am Spider-Man just stands around commenting about DiCaprio…just said that Gatsby was the ‘son of God,’ I think

1:02am Spider-Man described some guy as a ‘millionaire alcoholic’ & I coughed a little to disguise my laughter

1:10am Haven’t thought anything except ‘Titanic’ past ~8 (?) minutes?

1:13am I’m at 10% battery

1:15am DiCaprio said ‘I knew if I kissed [something like “a girl”] I would [“always be wet,” I think]’

1:19am Sex scene…music during sex scene is, like, vaguely gypsy-ish

1:20am Gatsby is like Batman kind of, except without any goals in life at all

1:22am Mulligan shouted ‘what are we going to do…for the next 30 years,’ seems extreme…30 years…lol

1:25am Mulligan said something incoherent about ‘2 cigarettes’ while leaping into a car happily…minutes ago she was despairing re ‘next 30 years’

1:25am It’s doing an action-movie-like race scene

1:26am Someone is stabbing a giant block of ice

1:29am The ‘bad guy’ is also the only openly racist character, I think

1:33am Who the hell is ‘Wolfshine’

1:35am DiCaprio is screaming ‘shut up’ at the football guy…like how a 4yr-old wld in a documentary about bipolar disease or something

1:37am Spider-Man just turned 30…& said voice-over about ‘a decade of loneliness,’ someone just got hit by a car

1:39am The Zooey Deschanel person hasn’t said anything in ~15 minutes but it keeps showing her, she’s taller than everyone else

1:42am Football man consoles [‘lower class’ guy whose wife (?) just died via being hit by a car] w liquor while multitasking shittalking Gatsby

1:44am DiCaprio is hiding in bushes after killing a woman with his car

1:45am Daisy, DiCaprio says, was driving when the car they were in hit the woman

1:46am Scene ends with DiCaprio continuing to hide in bushes


1:53am Phone out of batteries, using Mira’s

1:56am Spider-Man just shittalked the media (‘headlines were terrible…none of it was true…’)

2:02am ‘Caught’ Mira staring blankly at her phone, clutching it w both hands

2:02am I recommend A Green Light by Matthew Rohrer

2:07am This guy came alone & was last to leave the theatre pic.twitter.com/5JKadiYeiQ Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog