Thought Catalog

We Will Drink Our Coffee And Complete Our Novels And Lay In Sunlight And Sit In Darkness

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We will drink beer and look at Facebook and write poetry about llamas and make drunken YouTube videos of us walking through a snowstorm at night in a gated community in Massachusetts. We will shower separately and meet in bed. You will turn off the light and I will sit on the bed and a car will pass on the street and its headlights through the window will briefly illuminate your left eyebrow and then your entire face as you walk toward me.

The next day you will work on a novel about a lonely woman in New York City. I will work on a novel about depressed movie stars who don’t read books or look at blogs or have pets. We will meet in the living room at 3:30PM and eat watermelon by the window and watch small children walk home from school. We will write poetry about planetariums and outdoor recess and drink iced coffee and lay on the carpeted floor listening to acoustic guitar music by sad women in their late-20s.

We will drive to a new Japanese restaurant across the street from a Wal-Mart shopping plaza and it will be very dark inside and we will sit side-by-side in a corner booth and hold hands under the table. We will eat edamame and drink green tea. We will stay more than two hours and our waitress will watch us from the distance and we will whisper illogical phrases to each other and nod with serious facial expressions and hold each other and look at the rest of the restaurant with wide and calm and discerning eyes while thinking about the future and death and the next day and boredom.

After dinner we will drive around listening to emotional guitar music from the mid-90s and you will rest your head on my shoulder and I will pet your hair and think about crying and you will look at the speedometer and think about your childhood. In a 24-hour grocery store at 2:30 a.m. we will walk through the produce section and it will be very bright and I will say that I feel insane and drunk and you will pick up a muffin and ask me how many calories I think it is and I will say 860 and you will say 1120 and I will slap it out of your hand and while you are distracted I will kiss your mouth and then step back and look at your face. You will ask what I see and I will say your name and grin and hold your hand and we will walk through each aisle of the grocery store without talking. In the parking lot you will let go of my hand and run to the car and stare at me as I walk toward you with a neutral facial expression.

In bed at 5:30AM we will talk about organic gardening and small children and the future and Japan and Iceland and happy-sounding music with sad lyrics. When sunlight begins to brighten the room you will roll over and say you feel sleepy. I will pet your shoulder and hold you a little with my hand on your stomach. I will wonder if you are asleep and think about my friend in elementary school who I played Zelda with on regular Nintendo and what I would like the order of songs to be if I recorded a 5-song EP of sad songs with acoustic guitar and a muted drumset and a violin that sounded like it was being played in another room. TC mark

image – Steven Hromnak
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  • Maddykhaigh

    I love this.

  • laurenk

    I really like this. It made me feel lonely and sad and hopeful all at the same time.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

    thanks tao~

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1363230138 Michael Koh

      the piece reminds me of autumn weather

  • a.

    Obligatory I love Tao Lin.

  • Maria Briones

    I can’t stop re-reading this. It’s perfect. I feel like I should print it out and frame it somewhere.

  • Anonymous

    nice

  • ughly ugh

    Really? This is what we’ve come to? 

    Time to start scouring livejounal for 15 y/o’s with Ginsburg fetishes for the next literary talent.

    • http://fastfoodies.org Briana

      YO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW MAN, YO DAWG, YO YO

      • Asdf

        Remember those Domino’s commercials with The Noid? Remember the slogan, “Yo, Noid!”? That was the 15 sec promo version. The extended version was “Yo, Noid, shut the fuck up!”. Kinda feel that way about “ughly ugh”.

    • danielle

      shut the front door

  • http://www.onavery.blogspot.com Darragh McCausland

    so much of the thought pieces here, don’t need to be so long. A single sentence would suffice – “Look upon me plebs, for my life is so exalted and precious that you will marvel at every mundane detail of it”

  • http://mrianmbelcurry.tumblr.com/ Mr. Ian M. Belcurry

    glad to see a tao lin post. enjoyed this.

  • what

    wait what wow woah

  • http://twitter.com/MissKimball misskimball

    stone cold creepy

  • Leigh

    i liked this

  • Mandatory

    the problem is that i agree with everybody here. i mean, “this IS what we’ve come to” but also somehow “this is what we’ve come to?”. can we look for the next talent and still keep Lin around please? he’s good for these some things that he’s good for

  • Anonymous

    This is what we all need.

  • LS

    mountain goats

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000135790951 Matt Schultz

    i will read tao lin and eat a 1120 calorie muffin and drink coffee on my living room floor after highschool and listen to sad jazz piano music. 

    • Anonymous

      Bill Evans?

      • Aja

        I never found Bill Evans particularly sad.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, I guess I agree. Can’t really think of a sad jazz pianist.

      • http://www.badbadbad.net jesusangelgarcia

        Brad Mehldau often.

  • kaylee

    I love tao lin

  • Xx

    i thought that was a joke…
    but then i saw the by-line was tao lin.

  • Anonymous

    Really great. Many writers try to mimic Tao’s style but no one else can do it right. Distinct without being overly affected, sincere without being mawkish, personal without being solipsistic…

  • Emily F. Clouse

    this is who I am and what I want and if I sent it to any of my exes or current crushes they would think I was insane.

    • Kate

      then you obviously haven’t been with/crushing on the correct people.

    • Kate

      then you obviously haven’t been with/crushing on the correct people.

    • Kate

      then you obviously haven’t been with/crushing on the correct people.

  • devin

    why is it that all of the details of life, every mundane detail, feels so beautiful that it’s sad? because it ends? because moments are just gone? 

    I really felt this.

  • fulldamage

    Lovely.

  • http://twitter.com/mungofrench kdub

    really, this is beautiful. 

  • http://www.twitter.com/mexifrida Frida

    Puts me in a nice, thoughtful mood.

  • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

    i like this part ‘We will stay more than two hours and our waitress will watch us from the
    distance and we will whisper illogical phrases to each other and nod
    with serious facial expressions and hold each other and look at the rest
    of the restaurant with wide and calm and discerning eyes while thinking
    about the future and death and the next day and boredom.’

    and the muffin calories and the light on the face from the car parts the best

    liking it up big time

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