Top 10 Worst Fruits to Get Blowjobs From

5. GOURD

Some say gourds—larger and harder than apples—are self-aware parodies of apples, while others say they aren’t. A third group of people choose to remain neutral on the subject, mumbling “I don’t know” or “I can see how you think [one interpretation] but I can also see how people are able to think [another interpretation]” in a quiet monotone, often while staring vaguely into some abstract distance. A fourth group of people will automatically use the situation to promote their personal brand, saying things like “what difference does it make” or “seems bleak” while grinning or maintaining a mask-like demeanor that says “this is who I am, and I’m aware of it, and I’m aware you’re aware of it, and I’m moving forward with it.” Finally, a fifth group of people will say anything to shorten or end what they feel is an interminable conversation, even “I completely agree with you” while completely not agreeing with you.

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