Top 10 Worst Fruits to Get Blowjobs From

8. PASSIONFRUIT

Men enjoy rubbing themselves against the insides of a passionfruit. Unfortunately, usually only the head of the penis—and sometimes a little of the shaft—can “fit” in there, leaving most of the crotch exposed, untouched, desiccant. Passionfruit blowjobs subsequently culminate, if at all, in a despair-inducingly low-level form of vague orgasm that’s distinguishable from “pre-cum” only by CAT scan, causing men to feel “insane,” like their penis is trying to eat itself or jump off a cliff or something. Scientists in New Mexico are currently working on a new species of passionfruit that has some dinosaur genes, hoping—ostensibly, as funding was denied when “for blowjobs” was listed as the goal—to create a fruit large enough for people to use as bathtubs or swimming pools.

Related

More From Thought Catalog