Top 10 Worst Fruits to Get Blowjobs From

1. COCONUT

The coconut’s preferred method of oral sex is actually to “bash” the general area of your crotch in a piston-like manner, not stopping even when you’re dead from blood loss, “heart attack,” or falling and then being hit repeatedly in the face until falling again. In Japan hundreds of thousands of depressed people have chosen to utilize the coconut’s sexual deviance in the otherwise chillingly uneventful activity of ending their lives. It’s estimated that by as early as 2013 this method—officially called The Coconut Decision, according to Wikipedia, though many believe this to be a vandalization-driven misnomer that “stuck”—will overtake Seppuku as what people think of when they think of Japanese people committing suicide and by 2018 what they think of when they think simply of Japanese people. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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