Top 10 Bleakest Unpublished Blog Posts of 2009

There are 70 drafts in my Blogger account re 2009/my blog. Some were posted then unposted. Some have never been seen by other people…until now…in that here are 10 of them (unedited and in blockquotes), arranged in an increasingly bleak manner, with commentary from me.

10. “Optimistically Bleak” (January 18)

Seems like I tried to create some kind of thing ~9 months before SFAA’s release date. Seems like I didn’t finish typing the first word of the blog post’s title. Not sure if I posted this for any amount of time.

Shoplif promotional post part three

I have created a “Shoplifting from American Apparel” meme. I have opted to created a meme rather than a trailer or website. People can talk about themselves in memes whereas trailers and websites make people feel like they are being excluded from something, I feel. I have seen these memes on the internet and have been tagged maybe 10-30 times but have refrained from participating due to “trying to keep this blog consistent.”

1. Will Shoplifting from American Apparel move in excess of 10,000 units?
2. Will Bookforum review Shoplifting from American Apparel?
3. Will Tao Lin shit-talking escalate, decline, or have no discernible change?
4. Will Random House distribution have the power to get American Apparel to sell Shoplifting from American Apparel?
5. Will Vice Magazine distance itself from Tao Lin?
6. In Tao Lin’s career will Shoplifting from American Apparel be seen as a transitional work?

Answer the above questions then tag 5 people you would like to answer the questions. This is the official Shoplifting from American Apparel meme.

Seems like the correct answers were “no,” “no,” either “escalate” or “no discernible change,” “no,” “I don’t know,” “I don’t know.”


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  • mario



    i found feb 5th inspirational, then about 8 seconds after i finished reading it, before i clicked '6' i remembered this was a 'bleak' post countdown. got confused how i could be at #6 on the bleak list when i was on page 5. 7 seconds after i thought this, i received a text message that said, “Well I'm sure you won't have a 1 bedroom forever, I'm talking like future. I have 4 roommates so I have no room.”
    bleak as hell.

    • tao

      seems complexly bleak

  • elaine

    situation in #4 seemed inception-esque

  • Travis Baugh

    seems like top 10 lists are becoming tao's gimmick. possibility of non-top 10 structured blog posts in the future seems “bleak”

  • stephen


    • Travis Baugh


      • stephen

        “are you shit-talking commenters as well”

      • Travis Baugh


    • tao


  • stephen

    “are you shit-talking commenters as well”

  • megan boyle

    keep looking at 'thank you for your time' and ~5 lines preceding it with something like 'awe-stricken fondness + amusement'

    remembered feeling excited re getting 'tagged' in #3

    • tao


  • link

    accidentally read this as “Top 10 breakfasts unpublished blog posts of 2009……….” was actually kinda excited about that.

  • steve roggenbuck

    nice i really appreciated these
    yeah the end of #1 is wonderful

    • tao


  • anon

    This is great.

    lol @ “magically bleak”

  • Parker Baldin

    feels like some blog posts are in a ‘first’ or ‘not ready for publication’ stage and they’re written for you. Like to read at a different point in time. Have a bleak voice. Feels ‘hopeless’ and ‘in a state of desperation’ and possibly ‘cruel.’ Seems interesting how you ‘converse with self.’

    Posts seemed ‘philosophical’ at times. Almost ‘beautiful’ / ‘harmony korine strange’ re blog post #8. wish more ‘weird’ blog posts existed. More non sequiturs in terms of blog ‘as a whole.’

    • tao


  • Brian McElmurry

    When I was a kid I pretended to be sick on the day my elementary school class went to LA to watch the play “WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE.” I found out the next day. I regret it now. When I think the word “bleak,” I think, “that's Tao Lin's word.” Enjoyed all of this. Feel bleak.

  • dalas

    “i seem unfunctional, in the world, yet i keep going, things keep happening successful”

    I feel this way a lot.

  • Jordancastroisthepresident

    feels like i 'missed' 'this era' of your blog, to some degree

    trying to remember [posts] that were 'content-based' when i got in on your blog and seem to 'only' remember [the 'fall asleep immediately one']

    seems interesting/sweet

    just thought 'feel better able to understand “where you're coming from”' while not experiencing any feeling like [aformentioned feeling]

    • tao


      will do a 'bleakest of 2008' soon i think

      sweet ass


    seems bleak that i don't find many of these posts bleak.

    • tao


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