5 Simple Ways To Be An Anthropologie Girl

Dear Ladies:

Those among you who secure your hair into messy braided buns, purchase succulents by the pallet, and layer bold necklaces — I know what you secretly desire. You long to be an Anthropologie Girl or an AG, for short. It’s ok, I’m the first to admit that I want to be an AG too!

Seriously, is there anything dreamier than an Anthropologie catalog? Those frothy images with the effortlessly styled AGs are the stuff that we aspire to be on our Instagrams (#AnthropologieGoals). I have a theory. I think it’s possible to be an AG, but to achieve it we must first define who she is at her core. We must discover her attributes, natural habitat, attire preferences, and whether or not she embraces this coconut oil trend.

With this knowledge we will transform ourselves into AGs in 5 easy steps and rejoice in our fabulous lives of whimsy!

Who is the Anthropologie Girl?

Anthropologie Girl (noun): A blithe creature who is radiant and down­to­earth. She’s an erudite character, but still possesses the natural wonderment of a newborn capybara. Her natural habitat is commonly, but not limited to barns, sailboats, any space with vintage maps or
chalkboards, spice bazaars, and the peeling facades of pre­war buildings. Her origins cannot be classified, but hint at a smidge of French.

She’s a savvy explorer of the world who is just as comfortable harvesting lavender in Provence as she is observing penguins in Patagonia with
J. Law and Amy Schumer. Her style changes depending on the direction the wind blows; a torrid current from the west or a wintery breeze from Nantucket will inspire her to belt a cardigan with braided grosgrain. Upon meeting her, you will be gobsmacked by an ample serving of quirk and pom­pom accessories.

She can see the color of your aura (it’s Cerulean, in case you were wondering). She’s also blessed with much knowledge of fermented foods; don’t be shy about asking for a recipe or two. Most importantly, she welcomes change and delights in the fun that
new experiences bring.

Wow, that’s a pretty comprehensive definition. Let’s distill the delightful essence of the AG into 5 easy steps that we can embrace.

1. Have an esoteric adventure!

The AG loves to explore and experience new things. She’s likely to pop up in a kitchen making candied lemon slices or at a wildlife sanctuary petting endangered foxes. You should get yourself out there too! Is there a crumbling barn nearby? Is the small equine petting zoo still in town? Did you remember to renew your passport? Get going!

Besides, think about how chic you’ll look while looking for heart­shaped sea glass in Lowestoft while wearing your sequin swing dress and plush, purple velvet booties. It’s a no ­brainer.

2. Girls on film

An AG lives each moment like she’s being photographed. In fact, she doesn’t do anything unless the mere snapshot of that moment in time could conceivably be pinned. Grab a bouquet of balloons and pretend you’re such a whisp of a lady that the itty bitty balloons are lifting you off the ground. Oh my! Never pass up a photo booth opportunity either, even if it means crashing a shindig you just learned about on Snapchat.

Ideally, your gem­ encrusted envelope clutch should contain a few photo booth props in case they don’t have the requisite assortment of moustaches, vintages glasses, large flowers, and floral bow ties. Always be prepared to get cheeky.

3. Unleash your inner kitten

True to herself, the AG never leaves home without a member of her menagerie in tow. If it were up to her (and socially acceptable), she would take her cat everywhere in a stroller. Until that day comes (one can dream), she basically wears animal prints here and there. Whether you wear a blouse festooned in feline silhouettes, a serpentine ring, or printed peacock pumps, your ensemble should always contain one representative from the animal kingdom. Rawr.

4. Be a spark of inspiration

Every AG has a side gig as a muse. Her influence is infectious and dictates trends. If she doesn’t channel this inspiration, she will literally buy ceramic­shaped animals until someone stops her. You have the power to inspire as well. Persuade a farmers’ market vendor to grow a new variety of cabbage, encourage your neighbor to drop out of business school and create geometric pastel prints, or inspire your bestie to rock a messy side braid. Muse it up!

5. Get happy

AGs have a great time no matter what and you should do the same. Remember to sparkle, laugh, be tickled pink, and most importantly, have fun!

Go forth, my little AGs. Be passionate, wear slouchy, chunky knits over midi skirts, create new fonts, and collect many Mason jars!

Next time, we will discuss that polished, pencil­skirt wearing J. Crew gal who changes her mind weekly about whether to tuck, not tuck, half­tuck or just plain knot her weathered chambray shirts. TC mark

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