This is my story, and I guess it may be yours too: From when I can remember, I have always been told to give and help others in any way I can.
To this day, I give people my love whenever I find the opportunity. Helping and healing, or at least just making things a little less worse for anyone, is what truly brings me happiness. Unconditional love is as raw as it gets, am I right?
Of course, this is where I soon began to realize that some people will take benefit of this kindness and make you feel like a fool. I hope you learn lessons from them and still let the kindness in your heart stay soft.
It takes strength to be kind.
I heard that somewhere, but only understood it years later. I will never condemn kindness (never ever), but I will warn you that not everyone who takes your kindness has the best intentions for you (and to that I say, give anyway).
So this is when it happens. A thought hit me like a brick. I didn’t even know thoughts could be so heavy and dark. But it hit me.
Why is it that I have never been kind to myself? Why don’t I give myself the love that I give to everyone else so effortlessly? Why?
Congratulations, we have just now come to realize that all these years, while I was so busy giving all my time and energy and love to everyone around me, I had forgotten about the one and only ME.
I was so used to this pattern of always adjusting and compromising my wants and needs to make those around me comfortable and happy. It was almost like I forgot what it felt like to make decisions for myself.
So is this the moment where I began to regret giving what I gave to all the people in my life? Never. But is this where I regret forgetting about myself as if I were a nobody? Absolutely.
I have now realised just how unkind I’ve been to myself for all these years, and all I can think is, “I would never let anyone treat someone like this.”
I’m sitting here typing away because I know I can’t be the only one. There is probably someone else out there who realized this and someone else who is yet to.
The culprit to this crime? Our self-esteem, I guess, whispering dark voices in our heads to have us convinced that we were never worthy of all the love we were giving to everyone.
And so what now? How do we fix this? How do we finally treat ourselves the way we’re supposed to?
Darling, all you have to remember is: You are and will always be as worthy of your love as those around you.