Thought Catalog

Why I Don’t Want A Wedding

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I’m not engaged and I won’t be anytime soon considering my current, non-existent dating life, but if I ever am, chances are I won’t be walking down the aisle to get married. I’m not saying I’m totally against having a wedding; I don’t completely rule it out. I’m just saying it’s probably not going to happen.

I’d be lying if I said I never thought about having a wedding. Not in the overzealous way some women envision their “dream” wedding — where they know every last detail down to the placeholders for the reception — but I’ve thought of the little things like colors and songs I’d want played. You know, the fun stuff. The problem is I’ve also thought about the not-so-fun parts, and the more those things creep into my mind the more I realize I’m not beat for a wedding.

I don’t want to plan it.

I don’t want to search for venues, look at flowers, taste food, choose a cake, find a DJ, find a photographer, find a dress, make a guest list, send out the invitations, coordinate the reception, and do all the other hundred things needed to plan a wedding. I’m not a fan of planning things and there is nothing appealing about having to do any it. Yes, I can hire a wedding planner to handle it but they’re expensive which brings me to my next point.

I don’t want to pay for it.

Sure, I can be economical and turn my wedding into a major DIY project, but if I’m not planning it I’m definitely not doing it myself. I’d much rather buy something than make it, which is a problem since weddings practically cost a small fortune these days. That realization alone would have me stressing about how the hell I’m going to pull this thing off.

I don’t want the stress.

I don’t want to stress about the cost, who to include in my wedding party, who to add to my guest list, how to deal with those who were omitted from either (or both), or where to sit that annoying cousin that no one gets along with. I don’t want to be so stressed out that I turn into an unrecognizable bridezillian version of myself that everyone ends up kind of hating by the day of the wedding.

I know a wedding is a special way for two people to celebrate the union of their love in the presence of family and close friends. It doesn’t have to be intricately planned, grotesquely expensive, or woefully stressful; it’s what you make of it. I also know it doesn’t have to happen at all.

You can want both a marriage and a wedding. It’s okay if you do. I just want the marriage.

I’m okay with taking a trip down to city hall or running off to some island or even a having quickie Vegas wedding. When the time comes for me to marry the love of my life, I won’t care about the way it happens as long as it does. TC mark

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