Inhale The Good, Exhale The Bad

Throughout life, you are going to cross paths with soulmates, temporary friends, bullies, toxic bosses, great leaders, gaslighters, and good people.

Some are meant to stay forever, some are only meant to stay for a season, and some are really going to hurt you.

The one thing they all have in common is a lesson to offer.

While we may be able to control how we are treated in some situations, a lot of the time it may be out of our control.

We all know that the quality of the lesson learned is contingent on our reaction and how we mold the lesson into our personality.

There is always something beneficial to gain, even from the most hurtful chapters.

Life isn’t always fair and that’s a fact, but the more you learn to control your emotions and not let them eat you up from the inside, the more centered and peaceful your life will be.

Let’s say there was a very manipulative gaslighter in your life who turned people against you by not adding the correct context to the story and portrayed you as the crazy one. The other party had no idea how you were really being treated by the gaslighter. Your first inclination may be revenge and to give this person a taste of their own medicine. You want that sweet taste of victory, right?

While the notion is tempting, instant gratification is not always the best solution. Instant gratification is pleasurable to the palate at first, but can quickly turn bitter as soon as the sweetness melts away. I don’t know if you are a big believer in karma, but I can assure you, it’s real. I am not a perfect person and will admit I have been on the receiving end. Instead of expending your energy on someone or a situation that’s not worth your time, use that anger as fuel to move forward and create a better life for yourself. Live your truth, take what you learned from that situation and move on. Don’t add fuel to the fire that will just incinerate the situation even further. The universe has a funny way of bringing karma to light.

Maybe you have to brace yourself for the catty comments and toxic, gossipy work environment that drains you every day. You might have this dire urge to confront your work bullies and yell, “What the fuck is your problem!? What the fuck did I ever do to you!?” or something to that effect.

This is the very reaction they want. They want to see you squirm. They want to see that they have crawled underneath your skin. It’s salivating to them. There are just some people who sadly thrive off of causing others emotional distress. It sends them on a superficial power trip.

You get back what you put into the universe; if those people are projecting that kind of toxic energy and thriving off of hurting other people, you better believe it will catch up to them one way or another. One thing to note is that if you are facing this issue, it’s something that is a disturbance within them, not you. If you have never caused anything to provoke this kind of behavior, make sure to not believe that this is a reflection of who you really are. The problem resides within their inability to make peace with a certain aspect of themselves. Remember that. The best thing to do is remain strong and turn the other cheek. Don’t give them the satisfaction that they are after. Reacting will only reinforce their bullying behavior. Don’t let them instill fear and have control over your emotions. Constant stress can really take a toll not only on your mind but your body by sending your stress hormones into overdrive. The more you ignore, the sooner they will realize that the harm they’re trying to inflict on your psyche is a complete fail and you are mentally stronger than they realize. However, if this is a serious harassment issue, the best thing you can do is document every word along with the dates the harassment occurred and present it to someone who has the power to hold them accountable for their actions.

Once you learn to truly harness your emotions, it is much easier to filter out the negative and absorb the invaluable lesson at hand.

Don’t let these people roughen the softness of your heart. Don’t fill your aura with bitter vibes that will only attract negativity in return. Be kind to yourself and others.

This shouldn’t be a transactional deal between you and the universe either. Be kind to people because it’s the right thing to do. Be kind because you know firsthand what it’s like to be treated with unkindness and you don’t want to make anyone else feel the way you did. Kindness produces an instantaneous warmth that creates solidarity between people and that is such an important part of what it means to be human.

Every person has a lesson to offer in life.

Learn the meaning of true leadership from the teachers, bosses, and coaches who always treated their team with respect, fairness, and encouraged inclusion. The leaders who had that special spark and ignited the soul of the team by uniting everyone and their unique talents to work as one.

Learn from the manipulators, bullies, and gossipers who tried to tear your self-esteem apart. These people ignited your inner strength. They showed you the power of restraint by turning the other cheek. They taught you how to rise above the negativity. They showed you how the way you treat others has a heavy impact on mental health.

Learn from the close friendships that didn’t last but showed you that change is an inevitable part of life that we must accept. Sometimes we outgrow people and environments; even if it wasn’t negative, it just wasn’t for you anymore, and it’s okay to walk away.

And of course, always cherish the soulmates in your life. The friends who know the real you and always have your back. Your significant other who works countless hours but never hesitates to check in on you throughout the day to make sure you’re doing okay. The people who will always be a light in your life no matter how dark the days are. The once in a lifetime kind of people that are forever here to stay.

All types of people will enter your life. Some are for us, some are not. Learn from them all and cherish the right ones. Just take a deep breath and inhale the good, exhale the bad.

About the author
Weaving my experiences into words. Follow Talisa on Instagram or read more articles from Talisa on Thought Catalog.

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