You wake up, you look at yourself in the mirror and see the spark gone.
Your cheeks have lost their color and the creases from your smile are no longer there. You take a long hard look at yourself, making eye contact with your reflection. It scares you because you see uncertainty. So you gaze deeper, studying the unique design wrapped around your pupil. It’s like looking into a kaleidoscope of your past, as you recount all the memories your eyes allowed you to see and store forever into your mind.
You’re no longer in the room. It’s as if you been transported back into that time and place of bliss. The smells come back; the energy and the sounds from those days rush through you like a flashing montage of pictures and videos.
You’re now looking into his eyes, and it brings back a sudden feeling of peace yet hopelessness because you know it will never be the same again.
But you remember his gaze, the way it melted into yours, drowning out all your surroundings and worries into a blur in that moment, magnetizing both of your souls into one. You remember the feeling of his touch, the way his hands brought you to life when they caressed your face, like you couldn’t be replaced. You can still feel his kiss that embodied this erotic energy, flooding the inside of your quivering body with dopamine, triggering this euphoric state of mind. You can still feel the warmth from his laugh rushing through your veins into your ears, lighting you up like no one else could. It’s like he’s right there next to you again, starring along with you, waiting for you to make a move; but then reality sinks in, and his ghost vanishes back into your memory, where he now lives and comes back to haunt you when you close your eyes at night.
All of a sudden, your vision is blurred, and your reflection is clouded by the sweet and salty saline that you taste, slowly streaming down your cheeks.
And you think to yourself, “How am I going to get through my day with him so deeply embedded in my heart?”
In these moments, remind yourself that day-by-day, the flush of color will return to your beautiful cheeks, your smile will curve its way back to hugging your face, and your infinite flame that never ceases to the dark will light the spark in your eyes again.
Let me remind you that your reflection is mirroring your strength and will to keep going. Don’t ever let what you see on the surface during days like these disillusion you of what lies within your flesh and bones.
Just like a wilted tree that loses all of its leaves in the winter, your roots will bring you back to life in your spring; and you will bloom again, with even brighter colors than before.